With COVID-19 impacting our daily lives and redefining what we call “normal,” society has seen an influx in remote work due to social distancing requirements. Not being able to be with one another may impact work environments, changing the office space from a cubicle to your own bedroom. But how has it impacted romantic relationships? 

Many relationships have been forced to adjust to long-distance romance. Long-distance relationships have become more popular among younger generations. The increase of long-distance romance can be due to wider accessibility via smartphones and the internet, partners who go to different schools than one another, partners who do not live in the same country as one another, the use of dating apps, etc. 

In a world where partners may not be able to see each other in person, what happens to the physical aspect of the relationship? 

“Phone sex” can be traced back to the early 1980s, where people could dial a number and pay a fixed price per minute to play out their fantasies over the phone. With phone sex evolving in the 1980s and ‘90s, companies set up hotlines where callers would have phone sex with an employee for the company. During these sessions, people used their sexiest voices to display some of their dirtiest thoughts while talking on the phone to each other. However, phone sex didn’t die in the ‘80s. According to a 2016 article by Chris Morris titled “Remember naughty 1-900 numbers? Lines are still open,” the phone sex industry did not die during the advance of techonology—the industry is instead thriving.

Today, many long-distance couples utilize their phones to fulfill sexual aspects of their relationships. Similar to how it was in the ‘80s, many long-distance couples talk on the phone every day, which can lead to the exchange of dirty thoughts spoken through sexy voices. But modern-day phone sex does not stop there; it is not limited to just phone conversations. 

In the digital age of social media, couples are presented with many options—such as FaceTime, Snapchat, and iMessage, to name a few—that may help them express their sexual desire. Phone sex has long moved on from just phone calls expressing one’s sexual fantasies to risqué text messages, explicit photos or videos sent between partners, and even performing sexual acts through FaceTime. 

We often see “sexting” as an exhilirating extension of phone sex between partners. Sexting between partners allows them to release their inner freak through a simple text and the push of a button. What makes sexting so different from other forms of virtual sex is that it is such a simple action but allows participants to get creative, using their words to create an image of their sexual desires. Unlike phone sex, where each participant needs to plan out time to talk on the phone and most likely needs to find a private place to do so, sexting can be done anywhere—and no one but you and your partner(s) know. It is completely between yourself and your partner(s) but can be done anywhere at any time. Sexting is something that requires no physical exertion, just an imagination and the ability to send that risqué text. Partners can arouse each other and find excitement in texting their sexual fantasies to each other while waiting for an even “dirtier” response.  

Although sexting is an easy act that causes much arousal and simple pleasure between partners, FaceTime has allowed for long-distance partners to have more intimate phone sex. Phone sex has evolved from phone calls asking “What do you want me to do to you?” to FaceTime calls stating “Show me what you want me to do to you.” FaceTime and social media have allowed for long-distance partners to still be able to see and love each other's bodies despite not being in person. FaceTime has bridged the gap between the sexual aspect of relationships and the long-distance aspect of relationships. Many long-distance couples reserve periods of their day or week where they are both free in order to “have sex” over FaceTime. FaceTime allows partners to get creative; FaceTime sex is not just relaying sexual fantasies to each other, but acting them out and revealing them over camera. Partners can utilize lingerie and sex toys to please themselves while also arousing their partner(s). The possibilities are endless over FaceTime. Partners can surprise each other with lingerie, trying it on over Facetime and showing your partner(s) how it looks, even trying different positions and poses to show them. Sex toys on their own have also increased the sex life in long-distance relationships, with the use of long-distance sex toys such as the “Lovense Lush 3,” which connects to an app and allows one’s partner(s) to control from anywhere in the world. FaceTime sex includes everything that sex has—except the physical contact. 

The modern world of technology has allowed for long-distance couples to have just as much of a sex life—or possibly even more of a sex life—as those who are not in long-distance relationships. Phone sex in all its new and different variations has provided options when it comes to sex, all digging into one’s own sexual fantasies. Phone sex allows many people to discover what they like or what they want and how to express it to their partner(s). Most of all, in order to have phone sex, one has to have a sexy imagination. During phone sex, we unlock our sexiest imagination and deepest sexual fantasies in a way that we can’t during physical sex.It is a way to explore our minds and our bodies while still allowing us to please our partner(s) through revealing our sexy thoughts. In this way, with phone sex being so personal and involving the mind itself just as much as the body, it is possible that phone sex could be better than sex itself. Phone sex creates an environment of trust and intimacy while using one’s sexiest imagination in a way that is unique from physical sex—possibly even better than physical sex.