I’m not rich, I am not elitist, and I do not like living in a capitalist society. I do, however, pay attention to Vogue and designer fashion, “fashion TikTok,” Pinterest, and Instagram, and after a lot of exposure to certain avant-garde trends, my brain starts to crave these items. Yes, the algorithms are out to get us, but so is the insatiable longing for designer or high-end fashion items that are unattainable on a college budget. But after seeing Maison Margiela’s infamous Tabi shoes shadow over the content I’m presented with, I needed a pair for myself. The designer shoes come in a number of styles, from heeled boots to ballet flats to Mary Janes, yet what sets them apart from other shoes is the iconic split-toe resembling a horse hoof. The Margiela hooves are hard to ignore, as the ballet flats were listed on “Vogue Essentials: 40 Wardrobe Staples our Editors are Wearing in 2022,” next to an Everlane turtleneck and a Prada skirt. 

After a couple of glasses of wine, an unexpected holiday bonus from the family I nanny for, and assured Christmas gift returns, I hit the internet searching sites from The Real Real to NET-A-PORTER when I stumbled upon SSENSE’s holiday sale. I filtered the “shoes” category to my size, particular brand, and I requested to see items in order from “cheapest” to “most expensive.” I realized that the discounts may be too good to pass up. Impulsively, on Christmas night, I placed an order of “SSENSE Exclusive Brown Tabi Vintage Mid Heel Boots.” They would be at my doorstep as soon as I arrived back to Boston from visiting my family over the holiday.

Once I returned to Boston, I was greeted by the package, which I ferociously tore open. Cautiously removing the dust bags, I was greeted with my first pair of designer shoes, and oh, how they shined. I immediately slipped the boots on, splitting my toes into the hooves. Fitting perfectly, I began imagining all of the outfits I would be wearing with them, not caring about the looks I may get trotting around my neighborhood or campus. 

The first reaction I got was from my boyfriend, who said something along the lines of, “Hmm. I don’t love them, but I appreciate them, and I am glad they exist.” Regardless, the Tabis and I first made our public appearance together to ring in the new year. “New year, new hooves!” became my tagline for the night. 

After Miss Tabi and I had our first night out together, I began to think about my ownership of the designer shoes and how influencers did in fact influence me. But how accessible are these so-called trends that I am constantly faced with? The people feeding us this “code” on what we should be wearing are at the top of the cultural hierarchy and can buy all sorts of designer items (insert The Devil Wears Prada quote of choice here). Am I just subscribing to this social and cultural hierarchy by purchasing a material item that only people with a certain privilege can afford? And I'll admit it, I am proud to have the ability to splurge on something I know I will have forever. So is it an investment? Are people that dictate fashion trends just guiding us on how to spend large sums sparingly, and if we participate in trend cycles this way, do we help reduce our environmental impact? I think so. Not only will these shoes live in my closet forever, but they are now a symbol of this period in my life, and will hopefully be passed on. Therefore, my Tabis are not only a sustainable investment, but a personal one. 

I’ll admit, it is strange as a college student grappling with my personal privilege and what it means to have the ability to adhere to certain trends and make them my own. And truthfully, if I wasn’t seeing Tabis all over the internet, I probably wouldn’t have bought them. At the end of the day, I am proud to be an owner of Maison Margiela’s Tabis, and I love them a lot. I feel special when I take them out of the box, undo the dust covers, and slip my foot into them. I am lucky to be able to do this. I have personal autonomy over my style, yet I sometimes confine myself to what I see other people wearing. But am I glad I did? Certainly.