Finding My Prescription for Rose-Colored Glasses

Written By Tehya Tenasco

Photographed By Emilie Dumas

I’ve heard countless stories of love in movies, on television, in books of fiction and poetry. In all of these instances, love is almost always depicted as ultra-romantic and ineffable. Two people run into each other on the street, one of them spills their coffee or drops their bag, they exchange glances, and the rest is history. In fictitious depictions, romance is romanticized to excruciatingly sappy degrees. This flowery show of magical emotions might sell to people on the other side of the screen, but for the longest time I wasn’t buying it. No, I don’t believe in love at first sight, so can I still call myself a hopeless romantic? What is it about love exactly that makes people lose their heads? And why does it seem to come along unannounced just as you’ve started to grow into the label “single”?

I’ve heard so many say, “After I started taking time for myself, love showed up at my doorstep!” or “Love finds you when you’re ready for it,” but I began to wonder if these statements are actually true or just false truths to keep the hopeless romantics, well, hopeless.

My freshman year at Emerson was underwhelming. When the opportunity for a sophomore-year abroad program came along, I jumped at the chance to escape Boston and test my luck a thousand miles away from home. Though I was hesitant, I told myself that if I didn’t like Emerson in the Netherlands, I wouldn’t like it in the States either. Now, an entire 365 (and some) days later, I consider my fall semester at Kasteel Well the best college experience I’ve had so far. The change in environment from bustling city to quiet town in the middle of nowhere allowed me time to reflect on my academic and personal aspirations. Traveling through countries on planes, trains, buses, and taxis, I was able to exercise an aspect of adulthood independence I was unfamiliar with in the States. Decisions I made weren’t limited by exact age or experience. I didn’t feel tied down by the idea of “forever” because I knew my time abroad was temporary, fleeting. Falling for someone while visiting a foreign country felt surreal in the most enticing way. Like listening to music except your favorite songs keep playing one after another.

My past experiences with romance were fleeting, and I had been content with the “single” title for years. When I got on that plane at Boston Logan International Airport, I hadn’t entertained the idea of love abroad. This lack of expectation for myself, or even the lack of love on the brain, initiated the raw and explosive range of emotions I had never experienced before.

To me, the element of surprise is inherently romantic. This desire for love to find you naturally is a hopeless romantic’s dream, and brings the hot topic of manifestation into the equation. Does it really work? In this case, manifestation describes moving through life ignoring the burning desire to fall in love, and in turn attracting the desired result by trusting that said desire will naturally come to fruition. Though the unexpected may be frightening when it comes to love, allowing emotions to phase over you without expectations based on previous encounters can make finding love feel less like a chore. Instead of a series of lackluster dates where one party keeps attempting awkward smalltalk, an unforeseen meet-cute in an excitingly unfamiliar place summons a theatrical energy. Every quick glance, miniscule hand twitch, and small smile inflates the scene with the sweet suspense of subtly. It’s true, what they say about love. How the whole world melts away until you’re left in a vacuum of your own heightened emotions and whirling thoughts.

Is manifestation somehow connected to fate or is all this theorizing on the rules of the love game an egregious waste of energy? Falling in love is not easy. Oftentimes it’s push and pull, will-they-won’t-they, or delusions entertained by the mind unable to comprehend love’s mysterious ways. But love isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to teach lessons, kick you when you’re down, and drive you mad with hopeful anticipation.

This upcoming Halloween my girlfriend and I will have been together for a year. We’re planning a 14th-century knight and princess couples costume. I never thought I would enjoy something as sappy as a couples costume, but despite all hesitations, these flowery shows of affection are growing on me.