Finding the Light In Darkness:
The Importance Of Self-Talk

by Leo Lukaszevicz

“Self-talk” is the term used to label the internal voice and conversation we have with ourselves. It can dictate our mood and our perspective on any situation. Sometimes, it can blow our problems out of proportion, causing us to feel bad about ourselves or the world around us.

Learning how to use this voice as a positive reinforcement for your mindfulness is a super important lesson to learn. It can feel unnatural at first, but if you follow these steps, you will realize how easy it can really be.

Our resort is to automatically talk negatively in an unfavorable situation. This may seem to make sense, but this response can distort the situation and make it feel worse than it actually is, causing a bigger impact on your mental health.

An example of negative self-talk is when we answer a question wrong in class and say to ourselves, “I just embarrassed myself in front of everyone and they must think I’m stupid. I am not smart enough to be here.” You automatically assumed what other people were thinking as well as discrediting yourself and your ability to learn. Now, let’s use our positive self-talk to reframe the situation.

There are many ways to do this, but the main way is to first identify negative patterns. When and how do you find yourself automatically using this negative self-talk? Do you tend to blame yourself for external factors? Do you focus only on the negative aspects of a situation? Are you always expecting the worst possible outcome? Find the route of your conversation and pin it.

Though it may be hard, take a deep breath and step back from the situation. Even if you do not believe it, find a glimpse of positivity in the scenario, or even humor, and review it with yourself. Was it really my fault that this happened? Are there positives that can come from this situation? Once you turn the corner of positivity, start to create firm, true, positive statements. If you got the question wrong in class, an example of this would be, “I am proud of myself for putting myself out there and for taking on the challenge of trying to answer a difficult question.” Not only did we find the good in the situation, we were able to celebrate an achievement instead of focusing on the negative.

A good way to remind yourself of the good in bad situations, is small affirmations. Look them up on the internet and find a quote that speaks to you. A great example is “I am growing, I am learning, I am forgiving,” or “I am on the way of becoming the best version of myself,” or even “Protect your peace.” Repeating it to yourself in times of hardship or printing it out and putting it on your mirror is a great way to create a reminder.

To start this process off will be a learning curve. It feels almost unnatural to step out of what feels like an emotional situation and try to find the light in the darkness. But just like any habit, it takes time, mistakes, consistency, and effort. You will slowly be able to see your situations from new perspectives, and maybe you'll find yourself laughing at something you once would have felt anxious about a few months back.

I'll see you next week, but in the meantime, be kind to yourself,

Leo

Photograph: Pinterest

Finding the Light In Darkness: The Importance Of Self-Tal