The Art of Seduction: Who Do You Desire?
Who do you desire? It's a question we never ask one another and rarely ask ourselves. What type of qualities make a person absolutely tantalizing for us? Is it their voice, their smile, the way they gently tuck their hair behind their ear, or the way they blush when they laugh? Are we drawn to those who reflect our own similarities or people who fill in spots and traits that we feel we are lacking in? The alluring power of seduction is one of the most mysterious yet shared experiences. Robert Greene, author of “The Art of Seduction,” is one of the few aiming to answer these questions and outline common types of archetypal seducers. Drawing from Greene’s examples, I pulled apart, combined, and contributed my own thoughts to construct some archetypal casanovas that I have come across in my own love life and my friend’s love lives here at Emerson.
Photograph by Catherine Batal
The Visionary: The Visionary is seductive because of their mind. They see the world in ways in which others don’t. Whether it's their traditional intelligence in an academic setting, their worldliness, or their artistic abilities, we are attracted to the Visionary because through their eyes, we can understand the world in ways that we never could before. They teach us things without trying to; they show us how romantic or interesting everyday things are. Whether they tell us about the relationship between the orchids and the roses in the garden or the significance of the low-budget cinematography in the newest indie movie, the Visionary is a natural teacher in every way we want them to be.
The Smirk: The Smirk is distant—distant in a way that makes them somewhat unattainable. This could be a result of their social status, cultural difference, distance in age, the fact that they’re in a relationship with someone else, or the fact that you’re in a relationship with someone else. We know that we cannot have the Smirk, that we would have to move worlds to be with them, and yet it makes us want them even more. Platonic hugs with a Smirk feel anything but platonic.
The Social Butterfly: The Social Butterfly is the John F. Kennedy type. The charming, witty, funny socialite whose presence makes everyone feel special, heard, and entertained. It may not be just through their words that they charm the crowd; many Butterflies are likable because they’re good dancers, chefs, or generous human beings. They have qualities that are satisfying to those they’re around and are the type of person who seems to get along with everyone. They're great with friends and parents, and it seems there’s no one they cannot please. We swoon over the Butterfly because we have a competitive desire to want more of their attention than everyone else gets. We want to be with someone who everyone loves, but who loves us most of all. We want the Butterfly to be friends with everyone but to be only our lover.
The Smokeshow: The Smokeshow is an extreme embodiment of traditional feminine and masculine qualities. We find them seductive because the extremity of their gender or sexual expression makes us feel securely feminite or masculine. For example, Marilyn Monroe’s hyperfemininity is seductive for many because of her ability to make men feel secure in their own masculinity. On the other hand, a man like Brad Pitt does the opposite––his hypermasculinity makes women secure in their own femininity.
The Defector: The Defector is the opposite of the Smokeshow. They don’t play by traditional gender roles. They instead dance along the lines of feminine, masculine, and everything in between. Think: a standoffish bisexual woman mechanic, or a male poet who paints his nails. We are drawn to them because they break the rules; there are no binaries and no unspoken rules when we're around them.
If you often stress about your affection toward a certain Romeo or Juliet, I would advise you to try to understand what type of seducer you are desiring and what it is about them that makes them so irresistible. Picking apart these questions can help you decide how best to approach them and, possibly, win their affection. Maybe the best way to appeal to a Visionary would be to be their best student, to show them you truly care about what they are teaching you. Pick some of those orchids and roses from the garden and write them a note about how their relationship emulates your own. Maybe the best way to appeal to a Smokeshow is to reciprocate the security they make you feel and try to make them feel equally secure in their own masculinity or femininity.
It’s important to note that these archetypal seducers are not exclusionary. Often, they will fit into multiple categories or birth new ones altogether. For example, a JFK type who is in a relationship becomes a “Smirking-Butterfly.” An intelligent grad student who identifies as nonbinary becomes a “Visionary-Defector.” Further, people are multidimensional and oftentimes, although we’d like there to be a simple answer for why our crush makes us sweat and bite our lip, there are so many reasons we’re attracted to a person, many of which we can’t even control. Understanding who you’re attracted to is an exciting thought and one I hope you explore further after reading this, but I implore you not to let it consume you. Attraction is largely physiological and hormonal, and a lot of it we will just never completely understand.