Guilty As Charged: I Still Watch Riverdale

An organ-stealing cult, a seventeen-year-old running a speakeasy and a diner, and the ‘epic highs and lows of high school football’— look it up on Tiktok and you’ll thank me later. That is the rollercoaster that is Riverdale. It has also been my guilty pleasure since I was a junior in high school. 

Riverdale is the love-child of the Archie Comics and David Lynch’s Twin Peaks (1990-1991), which initially attracted me to the show. I remember getting out of P.E with terrible excuses and watching the first season of Riverdale in the corner of the high school gym with my friends. The show was addicting with its dramatic love triangles, the spooky Blossom twins, mysterious murders, and of course, Mr. Cole Sprouse — flashback toThe Suite Life of Zack & Cody.

Sadly, as the show progressed, Riverdale lost its creative direction and some of its audience when the writing became comically absurd and the whole thing began to feel more and more like a fever-dream. Just when I thought it possibly couldn’t get any crazier, Archie Andrews fought an actual bear. And he won. Riverdale invented its own breed of teenagers with a vocabulary that only exists in Riverdale.  For example, ‘’I will never sell you my maple groves, you Vulgarian’’ or ''I’m cuckoo bananas for you, obvi’'— typical Cheryl Blossom dialogue. The hard-to-sit-through lines of Veronica Lodge only got worse as she constantly referred to her boyfriend Archie as ‘lover boy’ or ‘Archiekins’. 

Photographed by Emily King

Photographed by Emily King

If I’m so well-aware of the ridiculous aspects of the show and completely agree with the ‘Riverdale is on crack’ compilation videos on Youtube, why am I still so loyal to Riverdale? Honestly, the small-town aesthetic with a murder mystery plot happens to be my weak spot and Riverdale is a master at conveying that eerie but cozy theme.  

The best part about the show is still, without a doubt, Pop’s Chock-Lit Shoppe — open 24/7. The retro Riverdale diner is one of those aspects of the show that feels like a nostalgic home, not only to the characters but also to the audience, representing an homage to classics like Twin Peaks, Grease (1978), and Diner (1982). One episode at a time, I got used to seeing Archie, Betty, Veronica, Jughead, and Cheryl sitting in a booth at Pop’s, discussing that week’s murder mystery (and somehow solving it). It became addictively comforting to watch these characters and actors —especially my cast favorite, Lili Reinhart, who plays girl-next-door detective Betty Cooper— in each new season.

So, once again, a few weeks ago, I started the fifth season of Riverdale with inexplicable excitement mixed with low expectations for the highly-anticipated 7-year time jump. In season 5, episode 4, with a new murderer on the loose and the town of Riverdale on the verge of disappearing, the beloved characters are back in a booth at Pop’s as adults, for the first time in 7 years, to save their hometown. 

Veronica is the ‘she-wolf’ of Wall Street. Jughead is a successful author struggling with writer’s block. Betty is no longer solving crimes as a minor with her FBI-agent half-brother, but is an actual FBI agent in Quantico, eating Chinese takeout while solving crimes in her apartment, as an adult. 

I was caught off-guard because now, I can’t wait for a new episode to come out every week. Do I feel like screaming every time a 25-year-old Veronica calls her dad, 'Daddykins'? Yes. But, I also think the new season is creatively fresh and promising after a mysterious and possibly paranormal case that seems to involve extraterrestrials in Riverdale. The addition of the UFO mystery, while perfectly aligning with Riverdale’s love for absurdity, also resembles my all-time favorite FBI drama, The X-Files (1993), where two detectives — one of them being a believer of aliens and government conspiracies— try to find explanations to unexplainable cases.

A former Riverdale fan Natalie Daniels, says ‘I honestly think the time jump has made the show better, and at this point, the extreme plot tines make it more entertaining.’

Milkshakes, friends, and a comfort show that is as odd and entertaining as Riverdale is a combo that promises a fun night-in filled with laughter, because of how cuckoo bananas the show is.

Jughead once told his girlfriend Betty, ‘ In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo.’’ — a line that quickly became a meme. Like Betty, who stood by her ‘weirdo’ boyfriend, I too, will stand by this weirdo show, Riverdale.

Derin Yilmaz