*All names have been anonymized

Pegging. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Long regarded as a sexual taboo, even in relatively sex-positive circles, something about pegging makes it less readily accepted than other kinks discussed in the mainstream. To understand why we hold such deep-seated biases against pegging, we point to the assertions in R.W. Connel’s concept of hegemonic masculinity. Connel is a revered gender theorist with over 98,000 citations. Her theory of hegemonic masculinity is defined as a practice that legitimizes men’s dominant position in society and justifies the subordination of everyone else that deviates from this norm. The theory identifies the supremacy of men as a foundational building block of society, politics, and culture-and emphasizes the necessity to rewrite that narrative. Pegging and the apprehension it is met with captures the essence of this theory. Pegging plays on several different power dynamics, placing it at a cornerstone of controversy. It is a long-practiced and entirely healthy sexual expression, yet it is often met with apprehension and stigma.

The act of pegging challenges the long-standing heteronormative ideal that sex equates to a man penetrating a woman. This, of course, is not the all-encompassing definition of sex. However, pegging is the kink that strips that exclusive definition of sex from the backs of those upholding toxic ideals of masculinity. If a woman can penetrate someone, what’s next? Equal pay? The heteronormative power dynamic of men as the active party and women merely existing as a passive object during intercourse is toppled. The entire gendered system is overthrown. Other kinks like bondage, voyeurism, or role-play do not directly threaten that foundation in the explicit way pegging does. Everyone’s kinks, preferences, and tastes are influenced by their personal experience and the cultural norms they’re exposed to. So, if people acknowledge those biases and continue to forge ahead as an accepting community, a new order of love and lovin’ has space to emerge.

The depiction of pegging in media has done little to normalize or popularize the kink. Many depictions of pegging in TV and movies (Weeds, Horrible Bosses, Deadpool, etc.) use pegging for comedic relief as if the subversion hegemonic masculinity is absurd. Punchlines rely on the emasculation of a man and perceived “weirdness” of the woman involved. “Broad City” is one of the first to address pegging as an exciting and normal sexual episode. The iconic television show has taken similar taboo topics to the mainstream before through a representative conversation. Pegging, like all sexual exploits, may make someone a little nervous at first, but when all parties consent, it can lead to a zesty and positive sexual experience.

Though the expression is trite, communication is key during sex. Yet some conversations, especially those about pegging, are more daunting to invoke because of the social implications and norms that they challenge.

That became a problem for Peggy Peterson.* She said that “It [pegging] was always something I had wanted to try, but I didn’t know how to bring it up to my boyfriend, Peggary*, without making him feel really on-the-spot or uncomfortable.”

Bethany Booty* echoed the same sentiment. “As a lesbian, there is so much stigma around that sexual arena already that revolves around ‘Who’s the guy?’ I felt like my interest in trying it out might have come from a place of pressure to give in to that trope.”

“There is such a prejudice and internalized homophobia in the mainstream media that anything with homoerotic characteristics is automatically qualified in some shameful or jokey way,” Shay Staystrap* admitted. “People don’t think about pegging as something that can create pleasure because they’re too caught up in portraying it as a way to make fun and shame people.”

The stigma surrounding pegging is a reaction of the vice grip hegemonic masculinity holds over modern culture. So many consensual sexual adventures are stigmatized because of outdated, unproductive ideals. If you are interested in trying it out, fear not if you feel a little funny about it and don’t know why-social conditioning may be the culprit! The best way to approach any new sexual venture is with honest discussion, patience, and a healthy amount of water-based lube. In a world that we are floating through without aim, happiness and genuine pleasure are extremely valuable and should be actively embraced— be that eating vanilla ice cream with melted peanut butter, going for long walks down neighborhood streets, or pegging a consenting partner. Explore your sexual fantasies. Peg on!

Pegasus