Lizzo said it best: “You know what I’m about / self-love, body positivity, and a healthy relationship with masturbation.” When we think about masturbating now, we think “you do it, you wash your hands, and you move on.” But so much can be gained aside by reflecting after these few moments of bliss.

Why not keep a masturbation log?

A masturbation log is just what it sounds like: a place where you can write about what worked under the sheets. It illustrates your past, present, and future sexual desires and serves as a safe space to let all of your fantasies come to light.

Think about it like this. When you go to eat at a restaurant, you remember what you ordered if you liked what you ate. The same should go for masturbation. Whether it’s in the Notes app on your phone or in its own physical journal, keeping tabs on what you find tantalizing could help you in the future. After you’ve masturbated, find some time (it doesn't need to be right after) and write down what turned you on that given day.

Writing it down allows you to reflect and have a better understanding of your constantly changing preferences when you want to spice things up. Communicating your sexual wants to yourself and to potential partners is something we could all learn a little bit more about. So having a resource, like a log that’s all about you makes it a little bit easier. If things go dry, you know where to turn. Or if things are going great and you want to add a little something more, never fear—the masturbation log is here.

Here’s how I keep my log:

Write the date at the top of the page. What you liked yesterday may not be the same as what you like in six months. So it’s important to have a timeline.
Describe everything about the person (or people) at the center of your personal lust. What did they do that made you want it?
Dive into the scenario, and don't be afraid to go into detail. This is the place where you say what swept you off your feet. Paint the picture of what your sexual fascination looks like. Write everything down, from the place where it happened to what you were wearing. It will be interesting to see what made you feel confident in hindsight.
Read it back when you’re feeling frisky. What’s the point of writing it if you don’t take advantage of the log?

There is no formula for what a good log looks like, so long as you don’t place judgment on yourself for what you’ve written. What you liked that day is what it is. Leave it at that or choose to explore it as you wish. There is no set length for an entry; sometimes it’s pages upon pages of detailed notes, and sometimes it’s two sentences. Masturbation is about you, and so is sex in a way. Happy writing!

Me, My Journal, and Masturbation