Hot Priest: Why We Want What We Can't Have

Phoebe Waller-Bridge has created a number of popular TV shows, including Crashing and Killing Eve. But it’s the second season of her Emmy Award-winning dry comedy Fleabag that has everyone talking—and weak in the knees.

Art by Olivia Kelliher

Popularly referred to as the “Hot Priest,” Andrew Scott’s character meets the female protagonist Fleabag at an awkward family dinner where they discuss her father’s marriage to her terrible godmother. He’s set to officiate the ceremony. But that isn’t what’s been getting male-attracted people across the country to rethink their attraction to religious authority figures. Fleabag’s curiosity about Scott’s character turns from friendship to romantic love (and sex!). It is seen as taboo because of his sacred vow to the church and God, yet powerful and emotionally intimate. 

Pornhub reports that searches for religious pornography spiked 162 percent the day of the UK season premiere, while “priest” and “nun” rose 103 percent and 145 respectively. 

Even Waller-Bridge didn’t expect her priest character to gain such a following. “Obviously, Andrew is hot,” she admitted in her Saturday Night Live monologue while hosting on October 5, “but this priest character caused such a horn-storm.” 

This isn’t the first time people have lost their minds over a “Hot Priest.” Father Brah from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, played by Rene Gube, had a similar catch-22 with Valencia in season four. We even find out that they were secret lovers in high school and their breakup made him become a priest. Gossip Girl had one, too, in season five. And though Jack Ashton’s character Rev. Tom Hereward on Call the Midwife is not a priest, he is still a strong religious authority figure. He is sought after and has several relationships with women on the show. In fact, a large portion of his initial purpose was to serve the “Hot Priest” stereotype.

There are lots of different elements that contribute to the attractiveness of Fleabag’s “Hot Priest.” Dr. Lindsey Beck, a psychology professor at Emerson College, avidly watches the show herself. 

TV shows will lead one to think that “heterosexual women like bad boys, so to speak,” she says. “But the fascinating thing from my perspective as a psychologist is that it doesn’t match the literature at all. It turns out that women and people of all genders actually respond to generosity. It directly conflicts things that people think they want.”

In fact, playing hard-to-get is actually a risky business, she says. “It tends to increase our desire, but damper our liking of them. We want them, but don’t actually like them very much.”

Beck points out that narcissists are often initially attractive since they put a lot of work into their appearance and look like fun. But ultimately, we lose interest as we get to know them better. It might work for a date or two, but not a long-lasting relationship.

“It’s actually not supported by scientific research,” she says, referring to lay theories, which are common-sense explanations given to social behaviors. People generally want warmth, kindness, responsiveness, sensitivity, and decency.

But the “Hot Priest” does more than just create a sense of sticky sexual tension for our beloved Fleabag. He lends himself to the show in nearly every respect possible, mending her dysfunctional (and downright rude) family and removing her emotional crutches like her cynicism. 

The “Hot Priest” embodies a lot of the characteristics that people look for in a partner, specifically emotional availability, says Beck. Scott’s character validates Fleabag and is motivated to help with her needs. That’s why he’s captured the popular sexual imagination of viewers across the country. 

“A lot of the literature differentiates between relationships and short term partners, but the studies are the same…. These qualities are attractive across the board, in all genders, by all genders,” says Beck.

He’s not only a great face and body to look at, but a great guy. We see him performing normal priestly duties, like leading sermons and picking robes. And that actually adds to our arousal by adding the “bad boy,” off-limits taboo to the attraction. So he’s essentially the best of both worlds, making Fleabag and women across America hot and bothered.

Though physical appearances are also valued when finding potential partners, Beck says lay theories have established through years of data and research that it’s actually not the most important thing. 
“Andrew and I were trying to figure out what it was about him that was driving women so mental,” explained Walker-Bridge during her SNL monologue. “And we boiled it down and realized, it was because he was doing this one thing: listening. Really, really listening. Try it, guys!”