On October 26th, my suite gathered around the computer. For three minutes and thirty seconds, we sat silently, fully engrossed in the brand new video for Harry Styles’ song Golden. The video features Harry, partially clothed, running towards the camera, traveling through Italy’s Amalfi Coast. As of November 1st, the video has racked up 31 million views.

I would consider myself a casual fan of Harry Styles. Since 2010, with the creation of One Direction, Harry has been on my radar. As I grew over the past ten years, I witnessed the transformation of Harry, from band member, to solo artist, to style icon. Harry feels like a childhood friend. I listened to his albums, cried at his songs, marveled at his iconic outfits. It seems, even to a passive fan, that Harry is doing everything right— he is the ideal celebrity heartthrob.

Traditionally, “heartthrob” refers to someone who is admired for their attraction. But other than his appearance, what makes Harry so attractive? For me, it’s that Harry has created his brand around one idea, something so incredibly simple, you’d wonder why it even needs to be said at all: Treat People With Kindness (TPWK). He makes conscious efforts to support fans and promote compassion wherever possible.

Harry has gone out of his way to create personal interactions with his fans. In a recent post on Twitter, a fan shared that Harry stopped at her home when his car broke down. He left her a note saying he was sorry he missed her and he had fed her pet fish. The note was even signed, “Treat People With Kindness. All My Love.” This small act of wholesome interest and gratitude towards a fan sparked more attention for the singer, as many began imagining what it would be like if Harry’s car broke down outside their homes.

Harry shares little of his personal life. His mysterious essence allows him to support many causes without seeming too politically involved. He has used his influence to voice his support for the Black Lives Matter movement, as well as to encourage American citizens to vote. Many admire this involvement and promotion of equality.

Remaining vague about his personal life serves another purpose. Harry shows he doesn’t need to define himself as one thing to promote his brand. By choosing not to address rumors about his sexuality, saying it doesn’t affect his work, Harry creates a model for fans who might be feeling pressure to identify themselves. This reinforces an inclusive culture for fans, encouraging them to not worry what others think. When he waves pride flags at concerts, Harry’s attempting to make people feel more comfortable, trying to show they aren’t alone. Harry preaches being true to yourself and doing what makes you happy.

According to my roommate, Harry is ideal simply because he “respects women.” In the music video for his song Watermelon Sugar, Harry is surrounded by female models, who laze and eat watermelon. In the unexpectedly sensual video, there is a lot of touching and embracing between Harry and the women. While this video might seem a little awkward for some, according to the models, Harry would often ask if they felt comfortable. They deemed him “Consent King,” which seems like the bare minimum, but is unfortunately often overlooked.

Harry, a self-labeled feminist, receives a lot of praise for rejecting traditional, often toxic, masculine traits. One way he does this is through his clothing, wearing outfits that might typically be considered feminine. Harry has even explained that the “moment you feel more comfortable with yourself, it all becomes a lot easier.” His bravery in fashion has made him a cultural trendsetter. During quarantine, many fans learned how to crochet, attempting to recreate a colorful patchwork sweater Harry has worn. Harry conveys his self-acceptance through his clothing, visually inspiring others to be brave in their own expression.

Even as a casual fan, I can’t help but have a crush on Harry Styles, even if just in the platonic sense. His brand of wholesomeness and TPWK is such an overwhelming part of his identity, it seems illogical to not like him. It’s hard to find fault in someone who preaches and practices positivity and self-acceptance. Harry seems to unrelentingly promote confidence until it is within everyone’s reach. At the end of the Golden music video, Harry finally stops running. He sees you and no longer feels the need to hurry. He is satisfied with what he has found, and maybe we all should be too.

How To Be The Ideal Hearthrob