How Far is Too Far?
How far is too far?
written by lily brown
photography by eliana vega
College is the ultimate playground for figuring out your sexuality, testing the waters with different partners, or finding a sneaky spot for some extracurricular fun. But at what point does “fun” start feeling less like a thrilling memory and more like a public service announcement? Let’s talk about sex in college: where it happens, how it happens, and when it’s time to set some boundaries (and no, not just for your RA’s sanity).
Maybe you were feeling bold. Maybe it was the thrill of almost getting caught. Maybe it was a locked dorm room and some bad planning. Maybe you got carried away. Whatever the reason, college hookup culture thrives on spontaneity, risk-taking, and some questionable location choices. Testing limits is part of the experience. So, how do we find the line between an unforgettable story and a “maybe don’t” situation?
Let’s talk logistics. The roommate situation? It’s a classic dilemma. You’re either the person trying to be sneaky, or the poor unfortunate soul pretending to sleep through it. Then there’s the “I’ll be gone for an hour” text, the awkward post hookup eye contact, or, worst-case scenario: the walk-in. It’s all fun and games until someone feels forced to sleep in the common room to escape the vibes lingering in their bed. Nobody wants to be the person deep-cleaning their comforter because their bestie “borrowed” their bed while they were in class.
Speaking of borrowing: you’ve heard the legendary stories—the ones passed around with a wink and a laugh. You know, the one where someone thought it’d be a great idea to christen the communal laundry room late into the night. Or the daring escapades in places never meant for intimacy. Sure, these tales make for great gossip, yet at what point does the joke turn into a boundary issue?
We listen and we don’t judge; however, if you’re thinking about using someone else’s space without them knowing, maybe... don’t. There’s a fine line between a wild college memory and straight up disrespect.
College has those high-risk, high-reward spots—public bathrooms or even your friend's couch. And people love to test the limits. The stairwell rendezvous? Done. The unlocked study room? Risky. The frat house laundry room? Questionable. The library? Being hidden between the stacks doesn’t mean people don’t know. College is one big shared space. While spontaneity is hot, the aftermath of a couple desecrating the student lounge couch is not. We get it. These things happen. This isn’t an endorsement of public escapades or a PSA from your favorite RA—it’s a gentle reminder that a little common courtesy goes a long way.
As you navigate the chaos of college life, it’s key to think beyond just your own thrill. Consent doesn’t end when things go down behind closed doors; it extends to the spaces you share with others. Don’t kill the mood by being a disrespectful roommate or friend. If it’s a shared space (even if it’s your friend’s dorm), it’s always worth checking in about the vibe beforehand—even if it’s just a heads-up text. Boundaries aren't just a courtesy; they’re the foundation of creating a community where everyone feels respected, safe, and like they can be their truest selves.
What’s the takeaway? College is about making memories, pushing limits, and figuring things out, including when and where not to hook up. We love a good story. We love the thrill. Maybe, just maybe, we can also appreciate boundaries not only for our dignity, but for the general peace of everyone coexisting in this chaotic little ecosystem. Hookup, have fun, make memories—just, you know, keep it classy.
