And as hard as I tried, I couldn’t hide it, and I certainly couldn’t handle it alone. I needed support, I needed help, but I wasn’t doing enough to get that. I was completely reliant on my partner to help with all my problems—to an extreme fault.
What is it about dates that makes me so red with rage? Is it the small talk with strangers that makes my shoulders turn a bruised violet from the weight of carrying the conversation? Is it the fact that I feel the need to survey every person I meet and test them to see if they will fit the position of boyfriend?
Are you familiar with the feeling of constantly landing in the friend zone no matter how hard you try to dive into the depths of romance? If so, you’re not alone. However, in my journey through the maze of love, I’ve discovered that sometimes, being in the friend zone isn’t such a bad thing.
When it comes to a blossoming romance, an astrological chart has always been my key to being delusional. “What time and place were you born at?” I ask, with a twinkle in my eye, hoping to uncover the cosmic secrets of compatibility. “No, I don’t want your social security number; I’m not crazy. I’m just a firm believer that each and every one of our holistic identities are written in the stars.”
Like many people, I have fantasies. A good one can take over your brain for hours thinking of the possibilities of that alternate reality. I was lucky enough to have my biggest sexual fantasy come true very recently: I finally had a threesome with two guys.
Sex and I have a complicated past. It’s like when your friends beg you to go with them somewhere, telling you it’ll be a great time and you’ll realize how much fun it is once you’re there, and so you cave and go. Once you get there, you realize they lied; it’s not fun.
I’ve been with my partner for over three years now, but every now and then I still catch myself looking up his old flings on social media. We’re each other’s first serious relationship; and yes, we’re both well aware that we both have had flings, situationships, FWBs—whatever you want to call it—in the past and it’s never been an issue in our relationship.
Letters take various forms, like Post-It notes, birthday cards, postcards, written declarations of love (or hate)…the list goes on. To me, a letter features a written message; its complexity knowing no bounds. These Post-It notes were my first experiences with what I consider to be letters, and I only became more familiar with this form of expression when I started facing difficult conversations.
After a party, when one is alone in bed, or sometimes in the middle of the day while writing for a nonfiction creative writing class––these are some of many instances where we receive a request to send nude pictures of ourselves to a suitor or a random person over the internet.