It’s five days after our breakup. My cheeks and eyes are bleeding colors, matching pinks, indistinguishable from the other. I pull my hair back to keep the tears away from it, and since my bedroom has become suffocatingly hot. In these last few days, we fought every night, each argument ending with his pleas for reconciliation. I feel as if my bed will remember my shape better than he ever will, and I realize that my hair has lost its shape as well.
Your mom’s boyfriend is a groaner. His sighs sound like an avalanche heaving down the side of a mountain. The groans reverberate through the walls accompanying every activity from browsing the fridge to movie nights. He has neck, teeth, and knee problems from working on a boatyard. Also, he plays the bongos when he’s happy.
But as a former user of dating apps myself, it was never about finding someone who worked with me. It was about similarities and, well, matching. In turn, I was looking for a mirror image of myself without even realizing it. I remember often dismissing any profiles that conflicted with my interests if the algorithm dared to let them slip through.
When you are becoming closer with an acquaintance who is also a friend of a friend, you already know their vibe. There are no surprises. But coming into college where the majority of students aren’t friends with anyone beforehand, there is no familiarity. You are all truly strangers, and it could be the first time you have to ask yourself, “Wait, how do I make friends again?”
On average, a date lasts anywhere from two to three hours. An exceptional one might last five. But have you ever heard of a 16 hour date? I never thought this could happen to me, and yet it did. Maybe it’s a queer thing! Is there an art to having a long date, or is spontaneity part of the thrill?
My roommate, also a lesbian, went on a date in December. In preparation for the glorious union, we enacted every hypothetical scenario that could happen on the date. A dramatic streetlight kiss, the light brushing of hands, the sensual walk up the apartment stairs in Allston as she followed her new lover to her apartment.
In less than two weeks I had burnt two bridges: one was a boy I was dating for around three months, and the other was my best friend of almost three years. I broke up with the former over text two days after Valentine’s Day, and the other broke up with me the week of my birthday. It all sounds like karma until you realize that both of them wanted to end their relationship with me because they were too scared to speak up.
Dating nowadays seems to be as easy as swiping left or right, but I think it’s time to break the cycle altogether. While it might seem easier to just move on from one person to the next, instead you should try avoiding potential partners, period.
However, something I didn’t have on my 2023 bingo card was getting into a situationship! I truly planned my fall semester to be full of fun and spontaneity and my spring semester to be my globe-trotter era. Now, don’t get me wrong, that still happened, but I also fell in love in the process.