I thought that girls didn’t slut shame other girls for the clothes they wear anymore. At least, there wasn’t much of a dress code at school anymore. Since middle school, I had friends who were accepting of all kinds of beauty. I was living in a bubble.
I felt their passion. I craved their commitment. I couldn’t fathom loving something so much that I would leave behind any possibility of living a life for myself—one with romance, some parties, sleeping in, and wearing pants.
I thought it was a clean break—as clean as the sudden loss of a close friend can be. But before I knew it, Sara had created a new image for me, one I wasn’t comfortable with: the liar. She became Ruth’s advocate, her defender. She said all the right things: that I was a narcissist, a psycho, a sociopath, and a crazy bitch.
Much of my life has been spent waiting. Waiting for the day where I wake up and have all of life’s answers, where I wholeheartedly possess every and any quality I’ve ever felt I was lacking.
Technology was created for it to be relied on, but even with our continuous reliance on technology for our day-to-day needs, I am convinced that most of society are not using this tool to our full advantage.
When magazines came out, every new page I flipped onto I came across a familiar face or name. People in my class got featured as writers, models, and photographers: everything that I was too scared to apply for. I felt like a failure.
Internalized misogyny (used interchangeably with internalized sexism), a term that was first explored by psychologist Steve Bearman in 2009, refers to sexist behaviors and attitudes held subconsciously by women against other women. As feminism has entered mainstream media, this condition has followed in its shadow.
My first love was food. My Venezuelan father, a skilled home cook with a truly inspirational passion for food, would feed my curious, young self extraordinarily rich dishes packed with spices that express intricate ancestral and cultural stories spanning back generations with a single bite.
Now, whenever I have a slice of my mom’s cheesecake, it transports me back to that rambunctious house, filled to the brim with all my extended family, the Christmas tree with the overly packed presents underneath it—one for each of my fifty-plus family members—bringing me back to when we used to celebrate the holidays together.