The desire to love and be loved exists because of the natural instinct that humans have to connect with one another. Our existence thrives through the inner workings of connection that is run by both platonic and romantic relationships. Without our acknowledgment of other people, we would not know who we are, so how can we blame ourselves for our inevitable desire to love?

There are two main types of relationships: one that involves romance, and the other that is based solely around a close bond between two or more people. A best friend to keep you company, a romantic partner to spend your life with, and a close connection with your favorite professor all have drastically different dynamics, but in the end, they are all some form of a relationship. Having a large variety of relationships in our lives is ideal to feel successful and satisfied, but why is it that a romantic connection is the most sought after and deemed the most important connection to a considerable amount of people?

You can and should share love between your platonic connections, but having a romantic connection with someone is unlike any other relationship. We know this from our personal experiences, from seeing other people go through romantic relationships, and from the universal understanding of what love is “supposed to be.” Romantic relationships are hard to describe because they are more of a feeling, but once you have felt this kind of love, you will instantly understand why it is so desired.

Take it from Gail, 83, and Lynn, 82. With their marriage of only one year, they find themselves always together and are “very much in love.” They both feel lucky to have found their love for each other, but discovering a new romantic relationship at an older age sounds like it could be scary. What seems to be the expected experience of being in love with someone feels rushed, and the older you get, the more you gain the “time is running out” feeling. But there is no time limit on romance, Gail and Lynn are the perfect examples of that.

Molly Howard, 18, and Conall Sahler, 19 feel that between COVID and previously being long-distance, their time apart has created an even stronger bond, but both still have fears of loneliness even while being in a year-and-a-half-long relationship. Sahler says, “It would be horrible if we broke up. A lot of who I am is still me, but a large part is her as well.” Although they would be okay without each other, it's not something that either of them is striving for.

The only describable difference between a romantic relationship and a platonic relationship is romantic attraction—everything else is the same. There are people who may not find a romantic attraction to anyone, some who may not be ready for the commitment, and others who may not have the time for it.

For Charles Bruin, a 33-year-old graduate student at Emerson, life has just been too busy to be in a romantic relationship. When asked about the idea of loneliness, he says, “It doesn't scare me, but I might get sad about it sometimes.” He then furthers his response to talk about how he fills the gap of a romantic relationship by engaging more in his platonic friendships. Bruin does have the desire to one day be in love, but for now, he is content with where he is.

Evolving yourself more in your platonic relationships can help fill the void of those wanting to love but not having the time for it, or it could be enough for those who have no desire to love but still want the close connection of another person.

Navigating a new schedule and after just getting out of a “situationship,” Alex Lewis ‘25 says, “I don't think that I could deal with the 100 percent time commitment of being in a true emotional relationship.” However, they do have the desire to be in love in the future.

Not many people want to die alone, and in the end, most people won't. Even if not in a romantic relationship, there are other connections that we make throughout our lives with people who care for us in ways that still fulfill our need to bond with each other. For some people, this is enough, but for others, there is still a desire in them to have a romantic relationship.

The Art of Dying Alone