Thank You For Being A Friend

Art by Aleks Carney

Are you familiar with the feeling of constantly landing in the friend zone no matter how hard you try to dive into the depths of romance? If so, you're not alone. However, in my journey through the maze of love, I've discovered that sometimes, being in the friend zone isn't such a bad thing. It might be better to embrace it sometimes. In fact, it's a place where connections can flourish in the most unexpected ways.

Friend zones are a place where connections start to take root, but instead of blossoming into full-blown romances, they remain comfortably within the boundaries of friendship. This can be absolutely frustrating, especially when it feels like you're repeating the same pattern with every potential partner.

There’s a stigma that follows that concept of friend-zoning in relationships. Movies and television shows always make fun of friend zones, making them seem wrong in every way possible. More so, the idea of the friend zone is often portrayed as a source of frustration and disappointment which can lead to the belief that it’s something to be avoided at all costs. 

This is how I felt when pursuing anything. While I’ve never experienced a long-term romantic relationship, I’m confident that when the right person enters my life, the experience will be just as incredible as it is for others. I’ve dabbled in a few short-lived situationships and had a couple of casual dates here and there, but nothing ever aligned with my fiercely independent personality or long-term goals. Recently, however, I've come to terms with the idea that perhaps friend-zoning might be the right move to steer both myself and others in the right direction.

One reason why we may find ourselves perpetually in the friend zone is the unconscious habit of downplaying romantic interest. You might be unintentionally friend-zoning someone right from the start. I've personally done that more times than I'd like to admit and view these connections as purely friendly and nothing beyond that. This tendency can stem from fear, past experiences, or a desire to avoid the complexities of long-term relationships. And that’s totally fair!  

Another reason might be not realizing a partner is interested in something more. It took me a whole two years to discover that a guy I thought was a good friend wanted something more. Sometimes, it’s easy to miss signs or misinterpret a close friend’s feelings. With that guy, I can't help but wonder about the hidden meanings, missed opportunities, and unspoken desires in the moments we shared. Even if I never get the closure I desire, it’s important to appreciate the good times we had. Those nights that made me smile and our genuine conversations were a beautiful part of our relationship. They were genuine connections to cherish, reminding me that life offers valuable experiences, even when they don’t follow our initial expectations.

The final aspect of the friend-zoning phenomenon is the realization that you consciously might not be ready for a long-term relationship. I feel like a lot of Gen Z constantly feels pressured to partake in hookup culture or the latter long-term relationship, making it so black and white. However, it shouldn’t be like that at all. There’s so much gray area when it comes to love, so it’s essential to acknowledge where you are in your life and what you genuinely desire from a romantic connection. Friend-zoning can be a way of prioritizing personal growth and self-discovery.

Instead of perceiving the friend zone as a barrier, recognize it as a realm where genuine connections can truly ignite. It might offer brief enjoyment that proves advantageous for both individuals involved. Friends with benefits, or even just friends, can offer companionship, emotional support, and chances for personal development. Occasionally, easing the strain on the relationship can lead to unforeseen and exquisite results.

Navigating the friend zone in your love life can be challenging, but it’s essential to remember that it’s okay. In the end, it’s about learning and growing from each encounter, whether or not it leads to the destination we once envisioned. Embrace the idea that not every connection needs to follow a predetermined path to romance. 

By being conscious of your own desires and open to the possibilities, you can find meaningful connections that bring joy and fulfillment to your life, whether they stay in the friend zone or evolve into something more. So, don't be afraid to embrace the friend zone—it might just be where your next great love story begins.