it’s okay to not be okay

by allegra gonzalez

For this post, I'd like to make it a little more personal. For me, anxiety sometimes doesn't just show up in one moment. It's persistent— all-consuming. It clings to me like a shadow, follows me around, and never leaves me alone. It weighs me down, every thought, every decision, no matter how big, small, or important. The constant “what ifs” that race through my mind leave me questioning everything, even my own worth. I sometimes feel trapped in a cycle where everything feels too much. Washing my face or talking to my friends feels like a task that’s too big and overwhelming for me to tackle. And it's exhausting. I'm very good at pretending everything is okay, being my cheery self, and being the friend who is always okay and has everything under control, which can make it even more isolating.

Some days are better than others, and It’s okay if I don’t feel “okay” all the time. Some days, getting out of bed is a victory. I want anyone reading this to know that it’s okay to feel this way. You don’t have to push through it on your own. No matter how impossible and isolating it might seem, you are not alone.

It takes strength to acknowledge these feelings, look within oneself, and realize that not everything is fine– it takes a lot of willpower. Small steps, deep breaths, and taking it one moment at a time are all huge accomplishments, even if social media or society tells you it's not. Trust me, it’s enough, and you are enough. If you’re struggling today, know that it’s okay to reach out, to ask for help, or simply to give yourself permission to rest. You are more than your anxiety, and you deserve happiness.

When I first struggled with anxiety and realized I was not okay, it took me a long time to admit I needed help, and I was reluctant to turn to therapy. I needed to understand that seeking help wasn’t a sign of weakness but a way to understand myself better, the root of my anxieties, and learn coping mechanisms. And that alone has been a game changer.

Therapy can be costly and inaccessible to most, leaving many without the help they need. However, we Emersonians are fortunate enough to have access to The Wellness Center, which offers a wide range of resources and services to support our mental well-being. From one-on-one therapy sessions with professionals to group therapy, workshops, and wellness activities, there are countless opportunities for help. It's important to acknowledge that seeking support is a sign of strength, and we have the power to take action when it comes to our mental health. The resources are already available to us, all we have to do is reach out and use them. I encourage you to take that step and seek help if you need it. You are not alone, and there are people and resources there to hold your hand and support you every step of the way.

You can call 617-824-8666. Press option 2 to schedule a one-time check-in appointment or to start bi-weekly therapy sessions. You can also drop by Counseling Services from 1-4 Monday through Friday (216 Tremont St., Union Bank building, 2nd floor). 24/7 support line (833-434-1217) is always available for you to access.

You are not alone. As my mom always says: “Todo pasa,” which translates to everything comes and goes, the good and bad. Essentially, nothing is forever. Those bad feelings will go away. See you next week, Bliss Bloggers! 

Stay healthy,

Allegra