It’s Time We Stopped Romanticizing Being a Mess

by Isabella Castelo

Together, we are learning about the messy young women inside us and around us. We are not just some cute and entertaining character in a movie, we are real, and we have a lot of things going on in our minds. What better place to collect all these thoughts in one place than right here, with me, weekly!

If you’ve been following my blog from the beginning, you know I’m obsessed with love. This whole thing started because I wanted a confined space to share my unsolicited opinions and observations on love and relationships. Both are things I’ve never experienced myself and that’s what makes them so all-consuming for me. I loved sharing these thoughts with you, and myself, every week.

Then, last semester, I went abroad. I had the whole “life-changing European experience” and instead of obsessing over the love lives of the people around me, I made it my mission to find love in different places. I tried hard to change my perception of love, but all that new segment of this blog did for me was realize how scattered I am. I was discouraged and felt creatively drained and socially behind. But then I remembered the newest trope in cinema, literature, and even art: the messy young woman.

Young women in their early 20s say they’re entering their “Fleabag era” and eating their “girl dinner.” Books like My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Otessa Moshfegh have readers and nonreaders alike in a chokehold. Young women are naming Frances Ha and Shiva Baby as their favorite movies. Millions of people belt Olivia Rodrigo’s “bad idea right?” What all of these pieces of media have in common is the idolization of messy young women. People love the main characters because of how relatable they are and how these women make viewers feel better about their own lives.

I am not saying that these are bad pieces of entertainment, I love them all very much. I just think that many people, who may not be messy young women themselves, consume these things and perceive these women as primary characters in a movie, something created solely for entertainment purposes. However, these women are real, and they have thoughts and feelings…a lot of them.

How do I know?

I am one of them, and my goal with this blog is to share all these messy thoughts and feelings with you. They are not confined to love and relationships, although a portion of them are (I’ll always be somewhat of a romantic). Some of them are silly, some are sad, and most are not fully throughout in any way. With this, each week, you will be able to read what is consuming this messy young woman’s mind and we will learn more about growing up and being an adult together. My 20s are a new and uncharted territory for me, but I imagine this newness will give me a lot of good content for you to read about. I hope you look forward to hearing about all my new adventures – and probably many shortcomings – in future weeks.

As always…

Love,

Isabella

Photograph: Pinterest

It’s Time We Stopped Romanticizing Being a Mess