loveless and loving it

by Isabella Castelo

Making it 19 years without any relationship prospects can seem either impressive or depressing…depending on how you look at it. I tend to switch between the two. Every day it feels like I am getting love shoved down my throat, whether it be from an embarrassing number of TikTok edits, Netflix meet-cutes, or my friends telling me about their thrilling love lives. Seeing how seemingly easy it is for everyone else used to make me insecure…now I can’t imagine living a life any less “lonely.”

Hello! I’m Isabella Castelo and I’m from Asbury Park, New Jersey. I’m a Writing, Literature, and Publishing major at Emerson College and as you can tell: I have never been in love. Coming to college, I had the fantasy of meeting someone of interest in a new city and finally getting my shot at young love; however, with two months left of my freshman year, things are looking pretty bleak. Rather than hang my head, I’ve done some reflecting. And to be honest, I don’t think that the single life is as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

Questions like, “How are you okay with being so lonely all the time?” or, “Don’t you ever wish you were just with someone?” have always confused me, but especially now more than ever. Of course, it would be nice to finally be romantically involved with someone, but the fact that being alone is so unfathomable to some people really blows my mind. Having a partner seems to be a necessity to a lot of my peers, and I think it’s high time we all realized it’s not that serious.

This time alone (so, my entire life) has taught me a lot of things that I don’t think I would know if I had a real relationship up to this point. Getting to know yourself can take a lot longer than one would expect, and I think achieving it without anyone else to help – or honestly get in the way – makes me one of the lucky ones.

If this doesn’t apply to you, don’t fret! Now, every Wednesday you can be one of the lucky ones, too, as I take you along my journey through loneliness and learning to navigate life solo. In my short life, I’ve had a lot of time to yearn for something more… get a little taste… think I was a freak of nature… and finally realize that wasting my days kicking myself for not experiencing the “magic” that is young love would never get me what I wanted. All the observations I have made during these stages of my youth, and now teenage years, make me THE most qualified person to talk about love. Obviously.

If you’re like me and haven’t had many developments on the love side of things, or even if you have, we’ll flip the narrative starting now. Finding someone shouldn’t be your life’s mission, and being single is not synonymous with being alone. Becoming your own best friend makes life a lot more interesting and ensures, with my very qualified 100% guarantee, a lot less lonely. I really hope you stick around for these weekly developments because, who knows, maybe you’ll love ‘em.

Love,

Isabella

Photograph: Pinterest

Loveless and Loving It