Post-Study Abroad Blues

Art by Christina Casper

Finding some semblance of home while traveling in a new place is no easy feat, especially knowing your time there is temporary. Studying abroad is a formative experience for college students worldwide. It provides individuals with a profound sense of independence, as they explore and expand their knowledge of cultures and communities outside of their own. This life-changing experience certainly comes with its highs and lows… homesickness, “culture shock”, and jet lag are just some of the challenges that students will have to overcome when studying abroad; but what is rarely discussed are the myriad of conflicting emotions that are felt upon returning home. 

Studying abroad promotes this idea of possibility; you can do anything. Suddenly you feel braver, partly because you have to be, but there is also an immense blooming sense of courage and capability that comes over you once you gain your footing in a new place (after the initial homesickness and travel exhaustion subsides, of course). I know I felt a great deal of inspiration and creative fulfillment during my time spent abroad in the Netherlands. I found myself in an odd place in my life before I left; I was having some difficulty reckoning with my academic identity and my future, and was in dire need of some change. It wasn’t until I left that I realized a lot of the difficult emotions I was experiencing were rooted in my location. Living in Boston comes with so much bliss—being able to see your friends everyday, and being located in such an amazing city is undoubtedly a massive privilege—but leaving it behind for a semester turned out to be exactly what I needed to rediscover myself after a tumultuous sophomore year.

You reinvent yourself when you’re abroad. Your life and routine are completely turned on their heads, as you are suddenly surrounded by an entirely different way of life. You adapt to the perks of the country in which you are a guest in, and begin to make some pretty bold statements like:

“Life is so much better here!”

In my case of studying in the Netherlands, I certainly believe that the Dutch people are leaps and bounds ahead of America in several socio-political areas. The access to public transportation is something that I still dearly miss from my time abroad. Being able to hop a bus or a train to practically anywhere was a luxury, and it was quite difficult to make the transition back to the independent and egocentric American way of travel. Learning about Dutch people’s healthcare, their prison systems, their justice system, and their decriminalized approach to sex work and drugs was life-changing in terms of how I viewed my home country. 

The individual liberty that comes with being on your own in a new country was jarring at first. You become incredibly self-sufficient in forming your own travel plans, budgeting, and balancing both travel and school. I shocked myself with how capable I became after my abroad experience was over. As someone who struggles a great deal with anxiety, I was endlessly proud of how I was able to navigate new friendships, travel spontaneously in unfamiliar places, and problem-solve at a moment’s notice… all things I greatly struggled with at home. I found new parts of me that I had never really let come to the surface before my abroad experience, and  allowed myself to take risks and explore new passions.

When I finally arrived home after a semester abroad, I felt like I lost my footing all over again. I am completely (in the most cliché way possible), forever changed by the process of self-discovery I embraced while abroad. Experiencing such a great amount of intrinsic change made for a difficult adjustment when reuniting with friends and family who had not been there to witness those quiet moments of accomplishment and success. It can be difficult to articulate the experience to others, which can lead to a sense of isolation and depression after returning home. This is simply due to the passage of time, and the intense feeling that life at home went on without you. 

Being completely uprooted from your life at home when embarking on a study abroad adventure is incredibly difficult, as is trying to fit back in upon your return. Making up for lost time can be a frustrating task, but it is possible. Time and communication are key to finding the beauty in the life you lived an ocean away, and the life you left at home.