Diaries of a Solo Traveler: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

When you’re traveling alone there’s no one to hold you accountable. No one but yourself and the world, a lesson I’ve learned repeatedly.

I’m not new to solo travel, but I wouldn’t call myself an expert either. Every time I travel, it feels like the first time all over again, and I’m consumed again with a strange mix of naivety, confidence, and dread. Living in the same town my entire life, I’ve always yearned to experience other parts of the world. At some point in high school, I realized that I didn’t have to wait for anyone else to travel alongside me—a revelation aided by influencers who preach about the glories of solo travel. So instead of rushing into college, I decided to take a gap year and save up to make my dreams of traveling into reality. Just as I neared graduation, however, the pandemic hit, and—you guessed it—those dreams were dashed.

The first time I finally traveled alone was the summer before I went to college. I had found an affordable ticket to southern France, and I jumped at the chance. I had stayed in Biot, France before for an internship with a close friend five years ago, so I was somewhat familiar with the place and the people. But this time, I was doing it all alone. I remember boarding the plane alone with a queue of “wtf is my life rn” songs playing in my AirPods. It all felt so glorious. That was until it actually started.

First, it was my bag, which the airline lost between Amsterdam and Nice. Then, when I finally made it to the very damp and dark basement I was staying in, I discovered that wifi and phone service couldn’t reach me, which isolated me from my friends and family back home. Then came the jet lag sickness, and I spent my first day throwing up—only water, though, because I hadn’t mustered up the courage to eat alone at the restaurants in town. The first week I was exhausted, lonely, and miserable; most of what I remember is veiled by tears. I remember feeling like I’d been lied to. I knew that solo travel wasn’t always going to be as romantic as those influencers’ aesthetic posts made it seem, but I never expected to feel as lonely as I did. And, in my excitement, I had glazed over many of the very real dangers of traveling alone as a woman—something that isn’t discussed online as much as it should be. While I was lucky to be staying in a small town near people that I somewhat knew, once I arrived I realized that I didn’t know what I would do if anything were to go wrong.

The idealistic haze of possibility perpetuated by travel influencers online often overlooks the potentially dangerous consequences of traveling unprepared, especially as a young woman. While most influencers promoting solo travel come from a place of encouragement (and I’m all for making travel feel more accessible—it can be more affordable than you’d think), influencers should be hesitant to romanticize the experience and instead be open about the potential dangers involved.

Whether because of my own lack of preparation, my environment, or simply chance, I’ve been in many scary situations while traveling alone. From not being able to sleep from anxiety in a co-ed hostel room, getting stranded in the countryside by poor public transportation, my phone dying during crucial navigation, drinking too much and walking home alone, misplacing my passport, to even accidentally getting stuck in a car with a really drunk driver, I’ve had to learn that the only way to handle these fears and hazards is with reason. These are the moments that people don’t talk about online. These moments aren’t “Instagram-able,” but they’re very real. In a world where many of us are deluded into thinking that what we see on our phone screens is real life, it’s important to know that there’s more to travel than the glamor. This is why travel influencers, especially young women advocating for solo travel, should be upfront and transparent about the varied complications, challenges, loneliness, and dangers of traveling alone.

Solo travel taught me many lessons, some painful and others beautiful, but all empowering. I think that everyone should try traveling alone, be it foreign, domestic, or local. And, everyone deserves to feel empowered to do so; it can be accessible, affordable, and achievable. However, in order to protect new and naive travelers, we should be honest online with how we portray solo travel so that they may have the best, and safest, experience possible.

Your MagazineMay 9, 2023