Philosophy Can Improve Your Sex Life

by Charlotte Brandman

CONTENT WARNING: This piece contains mentions of sexual assault and engages in discourse surrounding this topic.

My first heartbreak was a defining part of my teenage years. The fifteen-minute break-up FaceTime call, sobbing to my dad in the Costco meat aisle, but especially the way my best friend, Regan, showed up for me. She spent the entire weekend with me, building me up after my first heartbreak. I also remember the book she was reading at the time: The Deal by Elle Kennedy.

I wasn’t always a reader (can you believe it?!), so watching my best friend snuggle into her sleeping bag and pop open a paperback was a little odd. And it got weirder— all of sudden, in the middle of my sobbing about how I missed my ex-girlfriend, she reads me an iconic line from Kennedy’s novel: “She’s pink and pretty and glistening and perfect.” Surprise! Yes, he is talking about her vagina

Well, three years later, I picked up The Deal for myself. And it was just as smutty and iconic as I remembered.

Hannah Wells is a music major attending Briar University, located just outside of Boston. Hannah has her sights set on the newly transferred quarterback, Justin Kohl. The only problem is Hannah’s not his usual type— aka, she’s not “rail thin” and popular. So, when Garret Graham, captain of the Briar hockey team, begs her to tutor him in philosophy (shoutout Bentham’s utilitarianism— I guess my ethics class is helping me understand my smut), Hannah decides that she can get more out of the arrangement than just money. Garrett is going to help Hannah get Justin’s attention.

As a trope lover, the tutor-student relationship between Hannah and Garrett hooked me from the beginning. I love it when two characters are slowly forced to confront their feelings for one another, especially when their relationship dynamic changes drastically. Garrett Graham might be the king of miscommunication because even though he feels incredibly possessive over his tutor, he tries to justify his feelings with their friendship. Hannah’s no better— as she slowly develops feelings for the secretly soft hockey captain, she reminds herself constantly of her real goal: bagging Justin Kohl. Except, Justin suddenly seems a lot less shiny when standing next to Garrett. Garrett continues to prove that Justin isn’t as nice as he seems and that, really, Garrett might be her perfect fit.

Normally, a book like this might not entice me until the very end. Not all fluff is good fluff— but Kennedy dealt with heavy topics through Hannah and Garrett that hit deep with me. Hannah never drinks or parties because when she was fifteen years old, she was roofied and sexually assaulted at a party in her hometown. The boy’s mom was the mayor so he got off easy, even though Hannah’s entire family was ostracized because of what happened to her. Years after the incident, when she and Garrett finally begin having sex, she has to stop him because it triggers a memory of the man who assaulted her. But here’s what struck me— Garrett doesn’t rebuke Hannah or make her feel stupid. He adapts. Instead of fingering her, he suggests they masturbate in front of each other so Hannah can feel more comfortable with him.

I know sex scenes can sometimes feel taboo— like maybe we shouldn’t talk about them at all. But when writers include such vivid examples of consent in their novels, I know that there are other people reading, just like me, who need to be reminded that consent must be freely given and enthusiastic. Sex isn’t dirty, gross, or impure; it’s a declaration of vulnerability and intimacy that we should have the choice to participate in. When that choice is taken from us, so is our autonomy and sense of freedom. But when we find the right partner to engage in intimacy with, they can help us work through some of the hurt that was caused by past experiences. And maybe, just like Hannah and Garrett, we can rebuild our relationship with not only ourselves but sex, too.

On the “Enemies to Readers” Sex-O-Meter scale, The Deal gets a three out of five. It was deliciously smutty with the perfect dose of authentic romance. Garrett and Hannah kept me up until 1:00 a.m. waiting to see how their love story would unfold.

Oh, did I mention they’re all hockey players?

See you next read,

Charlotte

Photograph: Pinterest

Philosophy Can Improve Your Sex Life