I'm Done With The Mafia
I'm Done With The Mafia
by Charlotte Brandman
photograph: Pinterest
Well, I could never be actually done. But I’m sick of bad writing. This week I forced myself to endure S.J. Tilly’s Nero, the first book in the Alliance series. I knew from the first couple of chapters that I was going to hate the writing. Scratch that– despise it. And honestly, maybe it’s on me for continuing to read something I knew had a similar trope to my most hated book of all time, Haunting Adeline. But I saw a BookToker recommend this series so I pushed through.
You guys know me– I’m a sucker for a mafia romance. I don’t know if it’s the grumpy/sunshine that tends to happen between the male and female leads or the action-heavy romance but, if I see a scary-looking man on the cover, I’ll usually pick it up.
But recently, I’ve been disappointed by the surly men I’m drawn to. Especially Nero, head of the Alliance. This book takes place in Minneapolis, Minnesota (shoutout to my St. Paul native roommate, Leah)... so already the mafia plot is entirely unbelievable. I mean, I can have Leah do some further investigation but as far as we’re both concerned, the mafia’s headquarters aren’t plaguing the midwest.
The beginning of this book is odd, to say the least. Payton, the female lead, is chilling in her living room eating a bowl of microwave popcorn and watching a movie. She looks out to her balcony and sees that there’s a heavy rainstorm happening outside. She doesn’t think anything of it until she looks back over at the balcony and there’s a whole-ass man standing there.
Why she didn’t scream and run out of her apartment, I will never know. Instead, Payton stays still on the couch as the man approaches her. He takes a seat next to her on the couch and… starts eating her popcorn. I’ve counted two felonies already: breaking and entering and food stealing (get your hands out of my popcorn bowl, man).
If there were a strange man in my apartment, I wouldn’t start thinking of how handsome he is. But Payton and I are dissimilar in that way because she can’t help but admire her intruder’s sex appeal.
Eventually, the man stops stealing her popcorn and adjusts Payton’s head so she can rest on him. And what does this woman do? Fall. Asleep. ON AN INTRUDER!
I was already done with the plot and this was three chapters in. There was no hope for me.
After their weird first encounter which is never explained– as in Nero, the male lead, never explains why he was in her fucking apartment– he stalks her. Like, full-on stalks her at her workplace, home address, her commute, everything.
Then one night, he breaks in and they have… sex. And when I tell you I was dry as the Sahara Desert reading this scene…. I didn’t want them to have sex. I didn’t want them to see each other ever again. Who falls in love with their stalker? And who has the capability to not be freaked out when a random person breaks into their apartment?
Nero by S.J. Tilly is a zero on the “Enemies to Readers” Sex-o-Meter scale because I hated the smut. But wait! There’s more to this story…
I’m currently reading King by S.J. Tilly, the second book in the Alliance series and it’s… so. Much. Better. Wow, the improvement of Tilly is palpable. I promise to deliver a positive review of King next week.
Until then, please don’t fuck your stalker.
See you next read,
Charlotte
