Fake It 'Till You Make It
Fake It ‘Till You Make it
by Charlotte Brandman
You and I have known each other (virtually) for almost four months. It’s only fair I get a little personal with you.
I went through a nasty break-up in my junior year of high school and a side effect of getting dumped in high school is that you see your ex all. The. Damn. Time. I mean, every day of my junior and senior year I’d walk to class and somehow run into her. I’m surprised no arson was committed. Just kidding. Well, mostly kidding.
Seeing your ex every day sucks. That’s where Hazel Hartley and her evil ex, Connor McKinnon, come in.
In Stephanie Archer’s novel The Fake Out, Hazel is a physiotherapist for the professional hockey team, the Vancouver Storm. That’s right, this week we’re back in the land of maple syrup, moose, and my friend Toby who goes to McGill (hi Toby!). Hazel’s had no issues working for the team until her ex-boyfriend Connor McKinnon gets traded in. She’s assigned to be his physiotherapy assistant and is scrambling to get out of the awkward situation. That’s when Rory Miller steps up to help.
Rory and Hazel have been bickering since the beginning of time. Well, not literal time but since the beginning of the Vancouver Storm series. When Hazel’s younger sister, Pippa, started dating Storm goalie Jamie Streicher, Hazel began bickering with Jamie’s best friend, Rory, almost immediately. But this isn’t the first time Hazel and Rory have had to work together. In high school, Hazel was assigned to be Rory’s tutor (in what, I have no clue) and that’s when Rory first fell in love with his “little dragon.” Yes, as always, our female protagonist has a weird nickname and today it’s a firebreathing dragon.
Hey, as someone who refers to herself as a dragon when I’m hungry, I have to say that Rory’s description isn’t completely untrue.
I mean, Hazel really embraces this description of herself when she realizes she’s going to fake-date Rory Miller, the playboy of the Vancouver Storm, just to get back at her ex. I think her exact words are:
“I’m a hurricane of female rage and revenge, and I’m totally fucking doing this.”
Yeah, she gets me. I’m definitely a hurricane of female rage and revenge when I don’t get my coffee first thing in the morning. My girlfriend can attest to that.
Anyways, Rory ropes Hazel into fake-dating him by showing her it’s a win-win situation: he gets to look like a good captain to Coach Ward, his idol and pseudo-dad, and Hazel gets to beat off her ex with a Rory-Miller-shaped stick. Plus, they’re both sort of in love with each other already but neither is smart enough to realize.
Hazel Hartley is a reminder to all of us that our bodies exist more than just to be looked at. Her dream is to own an inclusive fitness studio where people of all ages, body types, races, and genders can take classes and honor their bodies. I’m always touched when a book reminds me to look inward and take a moment to reflect on my own negative thinking. Body image is something most young women struggle with, me included, and it’s always worth it when a book nudges us in the right direction of total and utter self-love.
Speaking of loving ourselves (wink wink), I can’t even begin to describe how deliciously smutty this book is. It has everything I love– wall sex, bed sex, couch sex, floor sex, shower sex– you name it, it’s in this book. Plus, there’s so much love between these two characters, it’s palpable when you read their interactions. Sex is an emotional connection after all, and I love when I can see two characters embracing that part of intimacy as well. On the “Enemies to Readers” Sex-o-Meter, it’s three out of five stars!
This book is a first for“Enemies to Readers” because… there’s not a third-act breakup. Some of my friends hate the tension and angst that comes with the last fifty pages of a novel being when two characters get back together. I personally love it which is why we see so much of it on the blog. But Stephanie Archer has mastered the art of creating a dynamic love story that stands without forcing a dramatic breakup. Rory and Hazel were more than enough to keep me reading without a sad, tear-jerking separation.
I’m sorry if you also have an evil ex. But hey, maybe one day you’ll have a romance blog where you talk about sex and love and you too can write about them instead of committing arson.
See you next read,
Charlotte
Photograph: Pinterest