There is nothing more difficult than being a big bitch in a bathing suit. Well, maybe one thing: buying a bathing suit. From sweating in a Kohl’s dressing room to crying in a Macy’s bathroom, summertime shopping is my yearly nightmare. And yes, I mean yearly. In high school, I grew out of bathing suit tops every trip around the sun.
I hate my tits. That may sound like an exaggeration, but I promise you, it’s really not. In the eyes of some, I have been blessed with an envious set of breasts. Ones that many can only dream of, or pay thousands of dollars to get. I, on the other hand, am convinced that it is some sort of curse.
Before rising to fame as a rock and roll sex symbol known for her platinum blonde hair, Debbie Harry, frontwoman of Blondie, was a brunette bunny. Commuting in from New Jersey, Harry worked as a Playboy Bunny at the New York Playboy club in the late 1960s—a job less glamorous than Hugh Hefner would’ve liked to admit…
On one of the very few dates I went on, the guy I was seeing looked at my breasts and called them “little hamburgers” (I’m at least a Jr. Whopper!) He then later grabbed my stomach, jiggled it, and called it “cute”—one of the worst things someone can do to a chubby girl like me…
Feel like you struggle with making personal connections? Need a little stability in your life? All of that can be fixed with a simple text to ChatGPT! In an age where social media has made digital connections the norm and finding genuine romantic relationships infrequent, AI relationships are becoming more and more prevalent…
Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and months turn into years, and every day, I am nauseatingly lovesick.
On the second night of college, some guy asked me to “shit on his face.” I, politely, declined his offer and was met with pictures of his body—every inch…
Our modern dating scene is more of a chessboard than anything remotely close to courtship. The epidemic of nonchalance tells us to calculate our every move, provoking a detached approach to romance in which we wear our best poker face rather than our heart on our sleeve…
Today, everyone seems to think they can be an entertainment journalist. As long as you have a mini microphone, mediocre jokes, and decent following, the job requirements are filled. There’s no need to actually watch the films diligently or ask any real questions when your goal for the night is a viral clip and some high-quality Getty Images to brag about at brunch…