Wearing this 2014 Choker Heals My Inner Child

As the world of fashion continues to emphasize creativity and authenticity, I find myself devolving back into the idealized style I had in my youth. The ever-changing nature of fashion creates the subjectivity of trendiness. Trends have haunted me for years, especially when I was younger. Often the intersection of fashion and beauty trends leads to unrealistic standards pushed upon society's impressionable youth. As a kid, I found myself so obsessed with dressing a certain way in order to be perceived as cool and relevant. I assumed that not following these trends would lead to complete social alienation and a lack of relatability between my peers and I. Always being decked out in the latest craze actually halted my development of personal style. It was almost as if I dressed robotic, like every outfit I wore was taken right off the mannequin.

When reflecting on my past infatuation with the concept of trendiness as the seemingly only way to fit in and be considered fashionable, it becomes apparent to me that these fads truly cultivated my current fashion sense. Reviving pieces that were popular during my peak style development has allowed me to tap into that younger version of myself. I still wear the infamous solid black chokers that had a grip on every Tumblr user in 2014, simply because, in my eyes, this accessory has become timeless, solely based on the longevity of which I've been wearing it. 

Photo by Mina Rose Morales

Our generation has lived through and been at the forefront of a multitude of iconic trends that have somewhat become signifiers of our age group. In a way, many of these trends have captured the essence of my coming-of-age. From the resurgence of low-rise silhouettes to the thigh-high socks and baby doll dress or tennis skirt combo. Certain iconic pieces have returned to the trend cycle, bringing us back to the time they ruled in 2016. The nostalgic element of these "trends" is what has kept them in my closet. 

 However, the obsession with trends has been detrimental to my psyche and worldly understanding. I conceptualized my "coolness" based on the newness and trendiness of my clothes. By establishing my self-worth in this manner, I trapped myself in this mindset of placing high value on clothing rather than style. Growing up in a household that survived on hand-me-downs, I valued the newness of clothes because it was rare for me to have an article of clothing that was mine and only mine; one that was never my mom's or my brother's or my cousin's, or even my neighbors'. I wanted to fit in and in order to do that, I felt the need to own every trendy or micro-trendy article of clothing I could get my hands on. This never worked in my favor, as constantly purchasing new clothes proved to be expensive and unsustainable. 

The whole basis of the trend cycle is to be fast-paced, shocking, and universally enjoyed. Thus, establishing the fast fashion industry, one that appeals to an immense amount of consumers and creates an addiction to expeditious clothing cycles. As we all know, fast fashion is incredibly harmful to the environment. Rapid and excessive production of textiles creates harmful microfibers, toxic wastewater, and high carbon emission levels that destroy the Earth's ozone layer. 

The excessive consumption that comes along with fast-paced trend cycles and the subsequent creation of the fast fashion industry is not only incredibly harmful to the planet but also to human self-expression. The desire to be "trendy" leads to a loss of individuality and a fear of vulnerability. The biggest part of self-expression is one's ability to be authentic and therefore vulnerable to judgment, but society's prioritization of trendiness deters people from this due to the impossible standards it sets. The pressure to achieve this level of sameness impairs our ability to truly connect with ourselves. In order to attempt to be free from this mindset, it's important to redefine the value we place on clothing versus style. 

As my style evolves, my definition of a “staple piece” has changed alongside it. I  no longer view staple pieces as the basic building blocks of my outfit, but rather as the pieces that have displayed my personal style even through its transformation. If you told my 9-year-old self that neon-colored polka dot leggings would no longer be the basis of every outfit I wore, my mind would’ve been blown.  Although I no longer wear such a colorful and unique article of clothing, I still find myself gravitating towards accessories and clothing pieces that my younger self would absolutely die over. That's because the style that piques my interest is so deeply intertwined with my life experiences.

By redefining my concept of basics, I've allowed myself to fully embrace my personal taste in every aspect. When I pick out my outfit, I listen to that youthful voice in my head and attempt to dress in what makes her feel happy and beautiful. I put on my collared fluffy white sweater because the younger me loves the plush texture, the comfortability, and the retro aspects that are reminiscent of what my beloved grandmother used to wear. I love the timeless simplicity of the piece, but I also understand how my personal conception of fashion is deeply connected to the things and people I admired and desired in my youth. 

Attaching sentiment to style has also allowed me to become a more sustainable fashion consumer. I value the sentimental aspects of clothing because it connects me to all the whimsical and unique things and the people I love. To me, that is a staple piece; an article of clothing that connects all sides of yourself, one that makes you feel so 100% you that it's almost euphoric. 

Healing your inner child is entirely interpersonal. Everyone faces different struggles in regard to that little version of themselves. For me, healing my inner child through fashion allows me to come to terms with the insecurities that have curated my self-perception. Fashion allows me to cope with living as a female-presenting person in a society that constantly critiques every aspect of femininity and devalues women altogether. There's a therapeutic element to getting dressed each morning; I'm connecting with the genuine version of myself that my younger self always wanted to be. It's a wholesome experience to put on an outfit that makes the little girl inside of me glow with joy. As a kid, friendship seemed to be completely based on this concept of sameness and relatability, which led me to diverge from myself in order to act, look and feel like the people I so desperately wanted to like me. Nowadays, I prioritize individuality and uniqueness in my friendships; I don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of carbon copies of myself. I admire my friends for their unique perspectives, personal style, and authenticity. Each and every day, I challenge myself to remain authentic and freely express myself even if it's not the norm. 

Fashion is all about going against the norm, constantly creating and innovating new looks or ways to wear pieces you may already own. I see this all around me, especially here. Emerson is a place that really prioritizes authenticity and creativity in every aspect, so just existing here inspires me to delve fully into the style that feels the most like me. 

Annie Fairall