Gen Z Fairytale: TikTok Gave Me My Girlfriend

POV: Your hopeless romantic request for a relationship just went viral. When I posted a silly girlfriend application video on TikTok, I could’ve never anticipated I’d actually get a response—much less four hundred. The online world seemed to think I was something of a catch, and from that video, I found my amazing and wonderful partner: Sophia.

Throughout history, queer people have found love in all sorts of ‘non-traditional’ places. In the 19th century, men would covertly convene in places known as ‘molly houses’ which could be anything from taverns to coffee shops.In the 1980s, many queer women in the community would try to find lovers by placing personal ads in papers, detailing things about themselves and about what they like in a lover. This isn’t much different from what I did in December of 2022 when I put myself out there on TikTok to see if there was someone on the app for me.

However, Gen Z has always lived in the digital era. In the here and now, queer dating has manifested in similar ways to heterosexual and cisgender dating: through dating apps. Grindr, Tinder, Hinge, and Taimi are all popular with the LGBTQIA+ community, but for queer women, TikTok has also become a sort of dating app– It even has something called celesbians: TikTok women who like women and generate lots of traction to their videos, whether it’s via thirst traps, or informational videos on life as a queer person. I didn’t necessarily have the LGBTQIA+ community in mind when I posted my application. I was simply single, craving attention, and feeling a little frisky over winter break. But before I knew it, the video was blowing up and the audience was overwhelmingly women loving women.

As someone who had recently declared my bisexuality to friends, it definitely felt like a fever dream. I was receiving heartfelt messages, being asked on dates, and consistently getting compliments. Around this same time, I stumbled upon one of Sophia’s videos on my for you page. Immediately, I thought she was gorgeous—pretty eyes, curly hair, and a more masculine aesthetic, all things I’m crazy attracted to—and I shamelessly saved the video to my favorites. What felt like minutes later, Sophia commented on my video. She’d noticed that I had been viewing her account, and she’d taken it upon herself to do the same. “I liked how much she loved books, and she seemed passionate about wanting to be an author. And I really admired that. I [even] liked the fact that she wanted to be a passenger princess,” Sophia says in an interview, laughing. “But I genuinely didn’t know we would end up dating. I slid into her DMs because I thought she was cute.” We exchanged numbers and talked for eleven hours straight. The conversation was so flirty and so fun. “She made me laugh really, really hard. I haven’t laughed like that in so long. She was kind of crazy—in a good kind of way.

There were so many different sides to her; I was hooked. It was like a book I couldn’t put down,” Sophia says, reflecting. I felt the same way. I didn’t know anyone like Sophia, and I was super into her, but there was a part of me that felt like it could never work. We met on TikTok; not only did she have an intimidating following, but I just knew my parents would be suspicious when they found out I was pursuing an “internet romance.” What about all of the modern dangers, such as catfishing? And then there was the matter of me not having been in a relationship for two years and being used to talking stage after talking stage. Who was to say this would be any different? All of these questions were in my head, yet Sophia was determined to meet me in person.

She looked up tickets, figured out the timing, and then texted my best friend, and roommate, Kyoko. My suite hosted secret meetings, keeping it hidden from me until the day of. Unbeknownst to her romantic schemes, I was told to let my suitemate, Olivia, into my dorm. But when I exited the elevator, it wasn’t Olivia I saw. It was Sophia, all the way from New York. I couldn’t believe that she was here, and she was staying overnight.

Overjoyed and a little bit nervous, I rushed to fit some of my favorite things into our impromptu weekend together. I took her everywhere from Beacon Hill Books to Pick N’ Roll Sushi; she even came to meet my dance friends at hip-hop auditions. We had our first kiss, and everything felt ridiculously comfortable and safe. It was a dream come true. I was sad to see her go that Sunday, but it wasn’t the end of us. We sent each other Valentine’s Day gifts by mail and had the cutest virtual date.

The next time she came to Boston, she was my girlfriend. Finally! Long distance isn’t easy, even with such a perfect partner. For spring break I had to catch a $600 flight. Some nights I cry on Facetime with her, wishing so badly that I could feel her hands around my waist. But we do our best to stay connected; we make playlists for each other, tag each other in relatable TikToks, and call almost every night. I’m also learning that active communication is everything.

In the past, I’ve repressed so many of my emotions. Not anymore. Sophia is teaching me, every day, how to articulate what I feel, and that what I feel is valid and real. I care deeply for her, and our profound wish to know and cherish each other keeps us going. Being with Sophia is an adventure, and I’m so lucky to have her. To many more adventures, my love.

Your MagazineMay 9, 2023