Is Love Really Blind?

Author’s note:

This was written months prior to the brutal arrests of 118 of my peers at the Students for Justice in Palestine encampment on Thursday, April 25th. The administrative handling of the encampment as well as the 13 arrests months prior have shaken my faith in the college. When I mention Emerson College in the following article, please know that I am not referring to the educational institution itself but rather the amazing students, staff and faculty that have made my past three years here a little brighter.

Thank you for reading.

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Of all the reality series I’ve binged, Netflix’s Love Is Blind (LIB) remains one of my holy grail shows. There is something about the so-called blind love experiment that continues to put me in a trance, even after seven seasons of failed relationships, copious golden goblets, and a lot of awkward tension. While I am not planning to try out for the show myself, I have realized some startling parallels between my own life and Love Is Blind. In many ways, my college experience is exactly like falling in love without ever seeing your soulmate.

I enrolled at Emerson, as LIB hosts Vanessa and Nick Lachey would say, “sight unseen.” In a way, I fell in love with the idea of Emerson without ever seeing it. Part of me was terrified to visit the campus, worried I would regret my decision, and dread starting my Freshman year. It was easier to focus on what I knew about the school from my online research. As my father once advised me over the phone, “I’ve read a lot about Emerson. And it says all the kids are either gay or on drugs.” Niche has us figured out!

But seriously, I felt like I was in a “pod” by myself, the possibilities of college on the other side of an opaque wall. I tried to imagine all I could or would do, but in the end, any image I could paint was unfounded and unproductive. Nothing really prepared me for the culture shock of college. Growing up with my two loving parents, who met at Boston College and still have close relationships with their peers today, choosing a college felt a lot like a marriage proposal. I have always had this idea of my perfect college life, which is kind of how I envision my fictional relationship with Kit Connor from Heartstopper. My commitment felt irreversible, destined to set me on an unmovable path toward the future.

Then came the reveal. Once LIB contestants propose to someone they’ve been dating in the pods for a couple of days, they prepare to meet their fiancé in person for the first time. Each person primps, fearfully confessing their fears to the producers. What if he isn’t my type? What if she doesn’t like the way I look? Finally, the couple is revealed to each other, forced to walk down opposite ends of a long, dramatic runway.

Most pairs laugh awkwardly and run to each other, hugging and kissing. Others sneak glances at the camera. Is this really who I am going to spend the rest of my life with? Together, the couples will either prove or disprove if love is truly blind, namely, if they can get past whatever discomforts they have with each other’s appearances and remain true to their original emotional connection.

You’re probably wondering. What was my reveal like? Luckily, Emerson is a looker and presents quite a pleasing facade. Sure, I did see a seagull murder a pigeon in the Common during my first week in Boston, but nevertheless, I was captivated by the city campus, so different from the sprawling grounds of other colleges I considered. Emerson and I were good. I accepted the ring, and we went on our week-long trip to Mexico or whichever tropical retreat the producers select each season.

Still, I struggled to reconcile my expectations of college with what was right in front of me. LIB contestants talk a lot about their physical connections matching the emotional bond they built in the pods. Emerson and I had the same issues. By my second semester of Freshman year, I was severely depressed. I started isolating myself in my dorm, going to bed at 9:00 p.m. every night and crying to my parents about how my college experience was nothing like theirs.

My parents always regaled me and my brother with stories of road trips, football games, and their first dates. The reality that they met at college and have been together ever since resulted in my putting more pressure on myself to date immediately and scout out a life partner. I felt like I was doing everything wrong and that I didn’t fit.

Every couple has those roadblocks—Love Is Blind practically invites them with the drama and uncertainty of the blind love aspect. I genuinely questioned if I had made the right decision by committing to Emerson. In those moments of intense self-doubt, I reached out for the threads of connection. One of them was this beautiful magazine you are reading right now. Though I had little confidence in myself and my future, someone trusted me to lead a group of incredible people. Thus began the metaphorical couples therapy.

Bit by bit, I adjusted my expectations. I wasn’t at Boston College or a state school back in my home state of Nebraska. I had chosen Emerson. And I like to think that Emerson kind of chose me, too—at least, eventually.

Now, at the end of every season of LIB, the couples attend their weddings, after less than a month of knowing each other. Honestly, my background check of Emerson took a week or two before I made my decision, so who am I to critique those reality show lovebirds? Granted, I don’t plan to spend the rest of my life braving the wind tunnel on Boylston and Tremont. The past three years have been a potent mix of stress, discovery, and melancholy, as any monumental decision should elicit.

So, is love blind? Romantically speaking, it certainly seems possible. Regarding my convoluted relationship with Emerson College, I have a more definite answer. I’ve never been more grateful for jumping into something blind.

Isa LuzarragaMay 1, 2024