“We would always walk through the park by his house in Roxbury,” Emma Neenan ‘23 says, referencing an ex-boyfriend she had, “and every single time, people would give us looks. Every stare was different, but since it happened so often, I knew at that point it had to be because I am a white woman and he is Hispanic. In their eyes, we still weren’t meant to be together.” 

How does race find space in love? 

Society is constantly trying to convince humans of this false narrative that race is a primary factor in choosing a companion in America—even today.

According to the U.S. Census, in June 2018, approximately 15 percent of newly married couples were of mixed races. Individuals with different ethnic backgrounds were banned from cohabitation and reproduction until almost 1970, when the Loving v. Virginia case was brought to the Supreme Court. Laws surrounding interracial dating were deemed to have violated the Equal Protection and Due Processes Clause of the 14th Amendment. As a result, more couples began seeking partners from separate ethnic groups. Yet, after years of what seemed like racial “reconciliation,” 21st-century America has still found a way to cultivate stigmas around interracial love.

Whether it be from family members or even friends, the struggle for validation in mixed relationships is real. The external world is always expecting something from love, and this can take a toll on internal relationships in turn. Melanie Shepard ‘22, who currently is in an interracial relationship says, “Black men will swipe up on my Snapchat story and ask me: ‘Why are you with a white guy? What about us?’ Like, I didn’t know there were rules to a relationship. It’s crazy.” This undetermined political sphere is defining these couples based only on the color of their skin, when love is not dependent on anything but admiration and true connection.

The misconception that race and love are negatively intertwined is so deeply embedded by traditional Americans that it puts suffocating, unnecessary pressure onto mixed-race couples. Prejudice against these couples contributes to the racial immobility and ignorance that exists within the United States. Although interracial couples confront typical relationship issues too, this battle toward outward acceptance prevails. Why is it hard to recognize that people can love whomever they want without public shame? Learning from your partner is how one grows. 

Many do not understand the fulfillment that makes its home here. A greater sense of identity is gained from educating one another about unfamiliar cultural perspectives. Our dissimilarities help us unite. A global Tinder survey notes that interracial relationships are transforming—they are “turn[ing] heads” and “dropp[ing] jaws.” About 63 percent of these participants also realized that being in an interracial relationship motivated them to try new things, such as activities, hobbies, and even “places they weren’t previously aware of.” Sharing distinct likes and dislikes, central values, and aspects of faith is a rewarding practice that can be uncovered through interracial relationships. These couples can feed off their mutual dreams and aspirations in life—but it seems that all we encounter is cynicism. 

Dr. Anne Gehrenbeck-Shim, a local psychologist, therapist, and college professor, explained that she and her Korean husband have three children together, who are all racially mixed.

“I’m the minority in my family. My biological daughters are half-Caucasian and half-Korean, and my adopted son is Black,” she explains. “It can be difficult for me because I don’t live the same lives they do. I know I will never understand, but their experiences have taught me so much. And I know there’s a lot more to learn that society has been shielded from—it’s called white privilege.”

Interracial families, just as much as mixed-race couples, face the harsh realities of ethnocentrism and other race-related intolerances in this country. And as a result, our mentalities have been consumed as byproducts of America, endlessly maneuvering its way into interracial love.   

There should be no bounds behind love. It has become an expectation that you must be with the person who societybelieves you belong with. However, love is not segregated. It is not Asian, Black or African American, Hispanic or Latino, Native American, Korean, white or Caucasian, or any race that lies in between. Love is a limitless connection between two people who cherish each other. Interracial couples are continuing to break this barrier America has created surrounding racial injustice that limits love’s purest forms. There’s no time for it anymore.