Stand-up comedy specials have never been my favorite. But when your suitemate says it’s her “favorite comedian” and that I’ll “die laughing” and she’ll “never ask you to watch another stand up ever again,” it’s kind of hard to resist the temptation. And so, with popcorn and gummy bears, we sat down to watch Beth Stelling’s Girl Daddy on HBO Max in our cozy common room. 

I was laughing almost immediately. Stelling’s delivery and relatability as a woman truly crack me up. One section, in particular, caught my interest. Stelling spent about 10 minutes talking about how she used to hump all of the decorative pillows in her house when she was a tween. Each pillow had a unique purpose that helped her feel good in different ways. It got me thinking back to my formative years and how confused I was about my body and its relationship to pleasure.

I’d never even heard of pillow humping. Was it something most tweens knew about as an early form of pleasure? Did I totally miss an important sexual milestone? 

Naturally, I asked my suitemates about it. We’re incredibly open with each other. None of them seemed to try out pillow-humping either. They’d seen it in a couple of tv shows and movies but had never tried it out themselves. Of course, maybe they were just embarrassed that I was asking them about their masturbation habits. I promise I’m not judging, friends. But it’s no secret that the subject of female masturbation is still taboo. It’s also no secret that we see way more depictions of men masturbating than women in movies and tv shows. Is Stelling onto something? Is her childhood sexual awakening opening doors for other depictions of female masturbation? I think so. And I’m thrilled about it. 

 “Humping a pillow (or a stuffed animal) is an extremely common early sexual awakening experience,” according to Nox Journal, a blog on the sex-toy site Nox. This form of masturbation is also not exclusive to young adults and often makes its way into many adults’ lives. However, it is most common in tweens and teens. 

Big Mouth includes some forms of tween object-humping. Missy Foreman-Greenwald, the delightful scholar of the group, humps her glow worm stuffed animal named Wiggles. Missy either lays sideways with Wiggles between her legs or straddles him when she gets her hump on. And although I want to believe Missy’s cries of joy, I just don’t understand how humping a pillow can feel so good.

According to the Nox Journal, “using your body weight to apply pressure between you and a pillow… you’re getting a similar sensation to being ‘on top’ in a partnered scenario.” Yeah, that makes sense. 

What I love most about Missy’s glow-worm-humping is that she finds no shame in her pleasure and is even encouraged by her mom to continue humping Wiggles in the privacy of her room. Eventually, Missy does feel shame when the Shame Wizard arrives, but the feeling doesn’t last long and she’s back to happily humping again. 

Nox also says that people with penises can also enjoy some pillow play. Just like Jay Bilzerian in Big Mouth, Nox says that folding a pillow in half or creating some sort of crevice is one way people explore pleasure. Not going to lie, I just thought Bilzerian was a super horny teen. But now, I know that many young people, and even adults, include pillows while they masturbate. 

Hulu’s Pen15 also depicts pillow-humping. But unlike a comedy special where it’s just alluded to or a cartoon show where we don’t see real people performing the action, Pen15 actor Maya Erskine humps her pillow several times on screen. 33-year-old Erskine plays her teen self in the show. Pillow-humping is just one of the many things Maya discovers about her body as she tries to conquer puberty. She discovers that humping her pillow feels good after she makes her dolls kiss and starts to feel a tingly feeling below the belt that only pillow-humping can soothe. 

Girl Daddy, Pen15, and Big Mouth all depict young people experimenting with pillows as they navigate hormones and puberty. More importantly, these shows depict young women experimenting with their bodies and sensuality. Although I’ve passed puberty and my confusion about my body, I’m still thrilled to see these depictions becoming normalized in mainstream media. Young women need to know that their exploration is acceptable. I hope many more shows and movies come out with pillow-humping and other forms of female masturbation.