Khakis, ankle socks, Sperrys, and a polo shirt: this was the outfit I wore every day for the last seven years. While my Catholic school uniform was coined “perfectly nice” by the administrators since it created a sense of community, it was pretty bland looking back at it now. However, this was all I knew until I came to a completely new style scene at Emerson a month ago.

Being from Salem, Mass., a city full of unique styles, you would think I would have found my own sooner. Catholic school made me used to wearing the same outfit every day. While there were subtle ways of showing my true self, it was barely enough. 

The biggest flex was painting our nails fun colors or wearing cool sneakers, but even that had its limits. God forbid we ever dyed our hair an “unnatural” color, too. Students were constantly dress-coded, sent to detention, and sometimes even sent home. 

Outside of school, I would wear somewhat normal clothes on the weekends and during the summer, but I dressed more for comfort rather than class. Sweats were the norm for me. I never expected I could feel so underdressed at college.

On move-in day, I wore a loose American Eagle top and a pair of Under Armour running shorts with my Air Force One sneakers. What I originally thought was a cute, sporty outfit instantly turned into an ultimate miss as soon as I saw what the other people on my floor were wearing.

There was an edgy girl who rocked low-rise jeans with a red and black lace crop top and a sleek choker. Another wore Y2K trends with conflicting colors and loud logos. My own roommate shines in her vintage hipster style, stone jewelry, and worn graphic tees.

I was so intimidated by these unique styles. While I had some taste, what I was wearing was completely lackluster beside everyone else. In reality, it probably did not mean as much to them as it did to me, but the feeling of being overlooked haunted me for weeks. 

The clothes I brought to Emerson now seemed dull. Even though I loved my indie style clothing from Urban or PacSun, it took me forever to find an outfit that would be acceptable to me for the day. It especially hurt because I had been trying to revamp my personal style since I graduated. 

I discarded so many of my old plain tees and looked for new pants beyond the khakis and sweatpants, but I guess to no avail. My favorite outfit I brought, an oversized graphic tee with acid-washed denim shorts, could not compare to the complex fashion styles some already had. 

With my mother being in the fashion industry, she tried to help me become more stylish. She knew what was good to wear, but it still wasn’t my true style. The preppy tops and casual jeans felt too mature and covered up. 

Because of this insecurity, I was determined to figure out what fashion sense worked best for me. After browsing popular retail websites like Cider or Dolls Kill, discovering different types of styles on Pinterest, and a few trips to the boutiques on Newbury Street, the journey to finding my style was underway. 

It’s been so exciting to discover the new trends like street style, and I loved to apply them to myself. The trial and error might be tedious at times. It was more difficult to figure out how to dress my body or skin tone since I hadn't had to think about it before. Despite this, I have discovered my love for ripped jeans and crop tops instead of the khakis and polos.

Along with that, I have been trying to incorporate my personality. I try to follow my favorite color palette: blue, light green, brown, and pastel pink. I also try to find cool designs that embody me, like flowers (my name), butterflies (my grandmother’s favorite insect), or skeletons (my hometown, Salem).

Even though I’m still in the process of finding my style, being true to myself and wearing what I want has been the single most important thing I’ve discovered in creating a personal style. I need to be confident, as I am the one in control of how I want to present myself. While there was a time in my life that I needed to follow the Holy Clothing Commandments, my personal style can now be whatever I make, from sweats to chic.