“But, what about when you need to breastfeed?” This is the response given 99.9% of the time when a woman introduces the topic of nipple piercing— and it is so trite in so many ways. It is indicative of the deep-seated rejection of female bodily autonomy and normalizes judgment of those who unabashedly choose to do what they want to do. It creates a harmful correlation for women, framing childbirth as their primary function. 

The loaded implications of this statement reach far beyond the link of women and motherhood— echoing anti-reproductive rights motions, invasion of women’s privacy, weaponized shame, and the double standard between men and women who undergo the same procedures. In a shiny and kind utopian future, these ideals will die-off as new generations defy the gender binary and reinvent the way people interact with each other. Until then, one must understand the quiet ways in which this question of “what about breastfeeding?” undermines the hope for gender equality.

  Body modifications have cycled through fads for generations. In recent years, the nipple piercing, being flaunted by celebrities like Rhianna (praise be), Miley Cyrus, and Kendall Jenner has gained popularity in the western world. Piercings, tattoos and all modes of body decoration allow artistic personal expression. They facilitate both individuality and cultural conformity. At their core, body modifications operate around the concept of emphasizing individuality and personal aesthetics. Yet, when a woman has a nipple piercing, the compulsory reaction is to judge the decision based on their hypothetical role as a mother to someone else. Many ask the question harmlessly, out of genuine curiosity based on their cultural conditioning, but this does not undo the stigma it creates. Nor does the innocent intention erase the truth that this question will never be asked to a man who pierces his nipple. Asking women about their future ability to breastfeed reinforces the idea that a woman’s body is never their own, but something that only belongs to them until someone else needs to use it. 

The fact that the question is so often begged proves the ideal hammered into American culture- the female body exists to serve a function, and that function is motherhood. When asking “what about breastfeeding?” the inquirer is operating nearly entirely on assumptions. Assumptions like; the wearer plans on having children, the wearer is capable of having children, the wearer will breastfeed and not bottle feed, the wearer already knows whether or not they have the capacity to breastfeed, and the wearer has taken all of this into consideration before getting the body modification. Even more than that barrage of expectations— the connotation around the female nipple piercing is more weighty than the argument of “will you really want that tattoo when you’re fifty?” because it relies so heavily on gender stereotypes and the commodification of female reproductive capacities. A great deal of the value of a woman lies in her physical body. To alter a body part so coveted as the breast is a rejection of the society that obsesses over, glamorizes, and simultaneously shames sexual organs. Everyone grows old and can regret an unflattering tattoo. The correlation made between nipple piercings and breastfeeding also brings up topics that assume specific reproductive capacities that may be exclusive to cis women, not to mention topics that could be very personal and even upsetting regarding matters of fertility. It is jarring how often a stranger will comment on a practice as deeply intimate as breastfeeding.

The discussion around nipple piercings and breastfeeding is far larger than the immediate implication. With the recent attacks on access to abortion and female reproductive healthcare across America, the nuance of the nipple piercing-breastfeeding question perpetuates the idea that public right overrides a woman’s personal decision. This is not to say anyone who has asked this question is anti-feminist. In all honesty, when I was researching the piercing myself, one of the first questions I googled was “can you breastfeed with a nipple piercing”. As a woman, it is ingrained into my subconscious to remember that I, regardless of how I choose to live my life, have some twisted sense of responsibility to care for a child I may never have. It is nearly impossible to separate myself from the identity of a mother if I care to keep the identity of being a woman. Though her body may “belong” to her for now, when the question of a child is introduced, it will supersede her own authority over her body. Let us not forget that when we question female autonomy over a cosmetic procedure, we open a gateway to questioning her autonomy in all forms. Georgia, Alabama, Ohio, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Utah, Arkansas, and Tennessee have already taken advantage of this mindset by choosing to roll-back abortion rights. Until a woman’s right to their own body is an authority rather than a “factor” to be considered, the gender binary and inequities within it will continue to pervade collective consciousness. 

The liberation of the female nipple is no new concept. Past movements have failed to be intersectional and lack gravitas galore—but the nipple remains a charged button at the kernel of feminist issues. It is so important to recognize the unconscious gendered prejudices prevalent in day-to-day interactions. End the double standards, respect a woman’s privacy, and disconnect the words “woman” and “mother” in your brain. Small-scale social change between individuals creates space for radical cultural shifts. To put a hole or not to put a hole, is a question that only the owner of that nipple gets to ask.