Imagine Mac DeMarco playing in the background as you try to figure out the boy who does not want to be figured out. These are the boys that pride themselves on pretending that they live in a movie. They look to you to fix them, and I’d argue that you can’t. I can honestly admit that I am so confused, yet so mesmerized by the Sad Boy phenomenon. Here I am stuck trying to analyze and understand what is going on in these Sad Boys’ heads. I wish I knew what the appeal was in finding someone to save you. I feel like that is so obviously temporary or impossible, yet here they are, everywhere, believing it.

It’s funny how someone can see a happiness in you and almost fetishize it because they imagine you filling some kind of void within them. They see someone with their life seemingly put together and are immediately drawn to it because, let’s face it, who wouldn’t be? The funny thing is, these Sad Boys actually believe that this one girl or guy could make them happy. It’s impossible to just look at someone, snap your fingers, and BAM! They’re now happy. They expect the Manic Pixie Dream Girl out of you, and when you don’t deliver, they get disappointed, as if something is wrong with you. Sometimes you can’t be somebody’s muse, and sometimes all those romanticized things you thought were the definitions of love as a kid—things like sneaking off into the night and being kissed in the rain—just seem stupid now. I feel like Sad Boys do these things because they are the things they believe they are supposed to do (like in a movie), but the question is, do they really want to? Or are they just trying to fit this aesthetic? Not to say aesthetic is a bad thing. Who doesn’t like boys wearing beanies rolled up to show their ears with their jeans cuffed to show you their cartoon/quote socks? However, I think there is a huge difference in doing what you want versus doing what one thinks they should do to fit a sometimes unhealthy role.

The Sad Boys Club often glorifies depression and romanticizes sadness. The Club assures Sad Boys that your love will swoop in to make them happy and giddy. Who wouldn’t want that? But the thing is, just because we want something doesn’t mean we are going to get it. There is no way one person will fix all of their problems, and they are placing too much pressure on their partner by thinking that they actually could. If anything, I think this is the downfall of their relationships.

It does make me question—what do they actually want? What are they all searching for? They cannot possibly believe that they can find this magical girl or guy to fill this void in their deep old souls, and you’d think after multiple trials and errors, they’d realize it—right?

Illustrations by: Lillian Cohen