Love 101: Juggling Hearts and Homework

By Vara Giannakopoulos

Photographed by Vara Giannakopoulos

College life is a juggling act, and adding romance to the mix can make it even more challenging. For those of you who haven't been to the circus before, imagine trying to keep multiple balls in the air while walking a tightrope— that's what balancing academics, social life, and a relationship can feel like. But fear not! With the right strategies and mindset, it's possible to excel in your studies while nurturing a fulfilling relationship. To gain insight into this delicate balance, we spoke with “locked-in” couple Jessika Landon (she/her) and Evan (he/him) Sharrard, Emerson students who have been together for over three years. Their experience offers valuable lessons for couples navigating the complexities of college life.

Communication and planning emerge as crucial elements in maintaining a healthy relationship while pursuing academic goals. Landon and Sharrard have found that sharing Google Calendars and discussing their schedules regularly helps them stay organized and find quality time together. This level of coordination can significantly reduce stress and prevent misunderstandings. However, it's important to recognize that a perfect balance isn't always achievable. As Sharrard notes, "Someone is more important than something," but this doesn't mean neglecting academics entirely. The key is to make thoughtful judgments based on the situation at hand. Sometimes, academic responsibilities must take precedence, while other times, providing emotional support to your partner becomes the priority.

One innovative approach the couple employs is "parallel play"—working independently in the same space. This allows them to enjoy each other's presence while still being productive. They also emphasize the importance of phone-free quality time, such as during meals or while playing board games, to foster genuine connection amidst busy schedules.

For students struggling with time management, consider these strategies:

1. Set academic goals together: Challenge each other to achieve goals like securing internships or completing projects ahead of deadlines. This fosters mutual support and academic motivation.

2. Implement a "tag team" study method: When one partner has a heavy workload, the other can take on more day-to-day tasks or social responsibilities, alternating as needed.

3. Establish a "success ritual": Celebrate each other's academic accomplishments with a special tradition, reinforcing positive associations between your relationship and academic progress.

4. Practice "mindful transitions": Create a brief ritual when switching between couple time and study time to help mentally prepare for each context.

5. Engage in "academia-free" dates: Plan activities that are completely unrelated to your studies to maintain a healthy work-life balance and keep the relationship fresh.

It's crucial to maintain individual identities and support systems outside the relationship. Relying solely on your partner for emotional support can lead to unhealthy codependency. Cultivate friendships and personal interests to ensure a well-rounded college experience. Remember, college is a transformative period. As Landon advises, "Never stop learning about your partner because they are also changing." Embrace the growth and changes you both experience and be patient with the process of building a strong relationship.

While balancing romance and academics can be challenging, it's not impossible. The skills you develop in managing this balance—time management, communication, and prioritization— will serve you well beyond your college years. As you walk the tightrope of college life together, remember you can keep all those balls in the air—whether in your studies or in the bedroom.