Another weekend over, another city conquered. This weekend's victim…Munich, Germany. I took on Oktoberfest this weekend and while it exceeded my wildest expectations, I still had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that didn’t sit right with me. 

I missed home. 

This realization occurred to me on the ride through the unbelievable German countryside, with views that—looking back now—I’ll never be able to replicate. However, I found myself comparing the sights to the ride I take on NJ Transit to New York City. A disappointed inner dialogue immediately followed this thought; “New Jersey Transit, really?”

I felt ashamed for “ruining” this experience by relating it back to the memories I have of home. A place I love. Before this weekend I felt as though I needed to love each new country more than I love my home. That if I didn’t develop this deep-rooted connection to a place, I must not truly enjoy it.

Voicing this feeling of admiration towards a random town in Central Jersey receives reactions that people often think are helpful. Saying you’re homesick while swimming in the freshest water you’ve ever touched in the quiet southern Netherlands or double-fisting liter beers at a festival most people couldn’t dream of attending makes you feel selfish. People conflate homesickness with you being ungrateful and unsatisfied with your travels and think reminding you of everything exciting you’ve done and will continue to do is a remedy to this unsettling feeling of estrangement. 

My new proclamation for the greater public…missing home is not a crime. I think it’s near impossible to love a city I visit for less than three days more than the place that raised me for 18 years. The memories I have and continue to make in New Jersey aren’t stressed or forced. I don’t have this desperate need to make the most of my time there, which ironically is why I actually do make the most of the short time I have left there. 

For me, this new perspective took a weight off my shoulders (more room for my heavy travel bag now). However, there is a critical detail to this new proclamation. Being homesick IS harmful when it destroys your perception of new places or even the chances of you visiting them at all. I still make amazing memories in each new city I travel to despite thinking that these weren’t enough until recently. However, some people think their homesickness translates to an inability to love, or even just enjoy, any place other than home. Letting this love for home blind you from the new places you’re meant to see will eventually lead to regret and dissatisfaction. I think that if I turned down this opportunity due to it being so far away I’d look back on that extra three months I squeezed out of New Jersey with resentment and anger. Neither are words I want to soil my perception of the state with. 

I know that taking this time away from home will not only force me to grow as a person but also increase my love for the home I miss so dearly. We’ll see if distance makes the heart grow fonder or if it makes me pack my bags and move to Europe. Either way, I think this new attitude towards traveling and homesickness is a lesson I had to learn and hopefully spread to my valued readers. 

Love,

Isabella

Photograph: https://pin.it/1pplgkw