I have a terrible condition: I can’t watch or read anything that doesn’t have a happy ending. If the media has even a hint of a tragic resolution, I run in the other direction. Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s “Fleabag”? Haven’t seen it. Any sad dog movie? I skip past it. I refuse to watch tear-jerking films, read depressing books, or take in any form of media that might lead to inevitable heartbreak. And not just because I crave a happy ending– I need one.

I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) at thirteen-years-old. Needing everything to work out perfectly at the end of whatever I consume suddenly made sense when those words left my doctor’s mouth.My anxiety forces all the what-if’s of a situation through my head at dizzying speeds, plaguing my thoughts and never letting me take a breath without considering the consequences. 

Those what-if’s seep into how I consume entertainment too. How will the two characters solve the mystery? Will she escape the serial killer? My heart races, my palms sweat—I can’t ever seem to relax for however long I spend reading a story. Conflict and I are on opposite sides of the spectrum—I avoid it in my novels at all costs. But recently, I’ve found an unlikely solution: contemporary romance novels.

Romances are the perfect solution for someone scared of a sad ending. They’re structured like science. As an avid romance reader with a blog of my own (shoutout Enemies to Readers!)I can recite the formula by heart. It goes as follows: the meet-cute (or meet-ugly if they’re enemies), introduce the thing that forces them together, rising attraction (the do-we-don’t-we of it all), their first kiss, major regret, more kissing with less regret, dropping the L-word, a messy breakup, make-up sex, and finally, the Epilogue proposal. If there are any romance writers reading, I hope your mind is properly blown that I’ve cracked the code.

The approachability of the romance formula allows me to peacefully read a smutty enemies-to-lovers novel without the fear of life-ending conflict. Nobody gets permanently hurt, nobody dies (even if there’s a dramatic hospital waiting room scene),  but somebody will end up married by the end of it. If everything else in my life is chaotic, at least I know I can find consistency and something everlasting in the pages of my books. 

A common criticism of the romance genre  is that if it’s so formulaic, how can there truly be new stories to tell? And why would someone be okay with knowing what happens before they even start? Well, it’s for the same reason I cried so hard after my first breakup: control. When a book leads me to a familiar ending, I can finally relax, really sink into the plot, and get to know the characters without fear of their imminent deaths. The time I feel most at peace is when my Kindle is in my hands and I’m silently flipping through the pages of a new novel. I may be unsure of how the characters resolve their seemingly irreconcilable differences, but know deep down that by the last page, they will be okay.

Plus, just because there’s a formula to the genre does in no way mean that every book is the same. Look at horror/thriller novels and movies. There is a formula there—think the “final girl” saying (coined from slasher movies for its use as a common trope!). There’s a consistency in how thriller and slasher stories are told, but that doesn’t stop anyone from watching Scream or Friday the 13th. You know that the innocent, virginal girl will survive, but you keep watching to see how. Just like when I keep reading my romance novels to see how two enemies fall deeply in love, despite their overt missions to destroy one another.

Romance novels contain subgenres like most other literary fields. Whether they subscribe to popular tropes like enemies-to-lovers or grumpy/sunshine or they create a new, creative way to force opposite personalities together, there’s always something notably unique worthy of romanticizing. From the classic workplace romance, to historical, to crossings with other genres like fantasy (I’m looking at you, ACOTAR fans), or even science-fiction there is something out there for you in the romance realm.

Maybe one day I’ll branch out to a tragic ending…maybe I’ll even attempt to watch Fleabag (no spoilers please!). But for now, I’ll stick with my tropes, subgenres, fixed endings, and epilogue proposals. And, to be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever give them up. So, if there’s one thing you learn from this, it’s that there’s nothing wrong with craving a little control, especially when that control ends in marriage and many, many kids. Pick up a book with a shirtless guy posing sensually on the cover, and join me on my mission for a happy ending.